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Thread: Has anyone outgrown Dappered?

  1. #61
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    Quote Originally Posted by dancinginyourhead View Post
    This was an interesting thread to read, thanks to MIS997 for posting it.

    There's a phrase that seems relevant that hasn't come up yet. And I just did a search, it's only been used 1 other time in the history of the forum/site. And that is "lifestyle creep." Basically, as your income goes up, you spend your extra money on consumption, such that you don't really have the ability to make progress on other financial goals (whatever those may be: charity, early retirement, college savings, second home, etc.) You come to believe that you deserve, maybe even HAVE, to spend your money on higher- and higher-priced consumer goods.

    It seems that I'm similar to a lot of posters. I'm 36. Started reading the site 6 or so years ago, when I made A LOT LESS MONEY than I do now. As I've made more money, I've definitely bought nicer things. But for me, it's also been important to still think carefully about individual purchases and whether the jump in price is actually a jump in quality that makes sense for me. A Uniqlo merino wool v-neck sweater for $40 (or $30 on sale, of course) is, for me, definitely going to be better than a $15 cotton sweater from Old Navy. But I'm not convinced that a $148 Brooks Brothers sweater is 1) better than the Uniqlo option or 2) SO MUCH BETTER that it's worth the price premium. For me, I'd rather give that money to charity and my retirement fund. But of course in American society there is a lot of pressure to buy the absolute most expensive thing you can afford (even if you can't really afford it).

    No disrespect to anyone else who's making different choices with their money. Let your freak flag fly. But I've found this concept of lifestyle creep to be a helpful one to think about. And I definitely still find Dappered to be pretty ideal as I try to keep a middle-class budget on an upper-middle-class income.
    I think theres definitely merit to what youre saying, but I think its a bit of a narrow view on why people get into style and how that interest can evolve over time. For the most part I think your view of quality vs price as the main deciding factor is the one thats proposed by dappered (for numerous good reasons), and is inherently limiting if you view style just a scientific exercise of getting the most bang for buck. I think that the proliferation of that view is what has made fast fashion so popular (Zara Uniqlo etc), where style, quality and cost have been optimized and feels a bit soulless. Like youre almost never gonna have an interesting conversation about style with some one who works at uniqlo. I think the stereotype is that when you buy an expensive piece of clothing that its basically still a transactional process that just involves a lot more money. It definitely can be that thing if you want it to be, but when you go into the luxury market theres the opportunity to learn more about where your clothes came from, who made it, why the design choices were made, etc. which I find interesting - clothes and style can speak quite a bit to culture and history. Frankly that side of style is not what dappered is meant to do and thats perfectly fine because dappered fills its intended purpose well. If you dont care about any of that stuff thats perfectly fine, but I personally didnt start to find style really interesting until I started looking at other sites or forums that focus on things other than just price and literal quality.

    I view it kind of similar to having a watch hobby. You can view watches as purely the sum of its parts - trying to get the highest quality watch for the cheapest price possible (sapphire crystal, mechanical movement, etc.) for the sake of getting the best deal. Or if you care about the construction, the history, the technology, it becomes a different calculus.
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  2. #62
    Varsity Member mcadamsandwich's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Token View Post
    I view it kind of similar to having a watch hobby. You can view watches as purely the sum of its parts - trying to get the highest “quality” watch for the cheapest price possible (sapphire crystal, mechanical movement, etc.) for the sake of getting the best deal. Or if you care about the construction, the history, the technology, it becomes a different calculus.
    Great comparison. Watch guys know that an Omega, Rolex, AP, etc. are special because they're not just the sum of their parts. It's the history, technology, construction, and attention to detail that add up.

    Apple Watches are fine for telling time or making phone calls, and they're certainly technically advanced. However, they're different from a Bulgari Octo Finissimo - an ultra thin mechanical watch. For me, that's art.

  3. #63
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    ^^^ that type of appreciation for clothes as art is wayyyy beyond what I think is the main purpose of this site, which is to teach the average style-clueless guy to look good.

    I see being stylish as a part of myself, a component of presenting myself well in a nice-looking package (together with good grooming and being fit), but it is not the entire 'me'. It's a means to an end, to make it easier to talk to and attract girls (when I was single), to make good first impressions, to be somewhat noticeable instead of blending in the background with other non-stylish guys, to be taken more seriously at establishments or the workplace, etc. But I wouldn't want to keep talking about style with other guys. I don't have any guy friends who would enjoy that type of talk, and honestly I think I'd find it boring too.

    I've been lifting regularly (but not hardcore) for more than 10 years, but I don't think I'd enjoy talking to a guy who talks about nothing but lifting and nutrition. I'm not sure if it was in this site, but the author mentioned how when you get too much into style, the means to an end has become the end.

    Of course there's nothing wrong with having a hobby and being passionate about it. But whether you're into clothes, watches, shoes, cars, etc., in the end all of that is just stuff, and I think having 'souless' stuff is perfectly fine.

  4. #64
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    Quote Originally Posted by julius12 View Post
    ^^^ that type of appreciation for clothes as art is wayyyy beyond what I think is the main purpose of this site, which is to teach the average style-clueless guy to look good.

    I see being stylish as a part of myself, a component of presenting myself well in a nice-looking package (together with good grooming and being fit), but it is not the entire 'me'. It's a means to an end, to make it easier to talk to and attract girls (when I was single), to make good first impressions, to be somewhat noticeable instead of blending in the background with other non-stylish guys, to be taken more seriously at establishments or the workplace, etc. But I wouldn't want to keep talking about style with other guys. I don't have any guy friends who would enjoy that type of talk, and honestly I think I'd find it boring too.

    I've been lifting regularly (but not hardcore) for more than 10 years, but I don't think I'd enjoy talking to a guy who talks about nothing but lifting and nutrition. I'm not sure if it was in this site, but the author mentioned how when you get too much into style, the means to an end has become the end.

    Of course there's nothing wrong with having a hobby and being passionate about it. But whether you're into clothes, watches, shoes, cars, etc., in the end all of that is just stuff, and I think having 'souless' stuff is perfectly fine.
    Yeah agreed that it's beyond the purpose of this site and as I said before that's perfectly fine. There's no "right" way to do things and Dappered fulfills its purpose really well. I was more responding to the other poster who suggested that the main reason people move on from Dappered is because they feel a need to buy more expensive stuff for the sake of appearances / keeping up. I think that's the conclusion a lot of people who get into style on the Dappered mentality (what's the best bang for buck in an objective measurable sense) can reach, and they view going further as frivolous (e.g. why would you buy a merino sweater from ____ for 5x the cost of my Uniqlo merino sweater when it's been shown that Uniqlo sweaters are the best bang for buck) - which I disagree with. Like you're saying it's just different approaches and interests for different people and there is no right or wrong - I'm simply saying that you can get deeper into the hobby and have an appreciation for the artistic aspects, craftsmanship, history, etc., which often results in paying more for those "intangibles", at least compared to the stuff at H&M which has probably been designed to appeal to as many people as possible at the highest margin possible (which is what I'm referring to when I say a bit soulless).

    If you view style as ticking off a checklist (own the two essential dress shoes, buy best bang for buck clothing, look good to impress others, etc.), that's perfectly fine if it's what makes you happy. My broader point is that if you do have that mentality (which is more in line with the Dappered ethos), then there's really not much to talk about in terms of style or fostering a sense of community once you hit a certain point (there aren't a lot of interesting conversations when you're just trying to get the best deals on OCBDs under $50 or w/e), and my guess is that's why a lot of the people who do care about other aspects of style move on to other sites, blogs, and forums. I think that's why the forums here tend to be a bit quiet and there's a ton of lurkers who don't register - incidentally some of the most popular and talked about topics tend to be about watches where people get into the "artistic" aspect that you're referring to because that tends to generate more conversation. Once again I'm not passing judgment on anyone and I completely understand that people want to do other things and pursue other hobbies outside of style - just saying that viewing people who want to go beyond Dappered as mainly driven by insatiable desire to flex on people doesn't seem correct to me.
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    Fwiw, it has been a mix for me to hear of things I've purchased and been happy with from the Dappered main site and the forum threads. For example, the forum is where I first saw Skoaktiebolaget mentioned which has been useful to know about. But, I never saw them talked about on the main site. Another example would be the Franklin Tailored Amazon stuff which I first saw on the main Dappered site and turned out to be very good value, although I found through trial and error that the stuff made by the Italian factory was better than that made by the Canadians.

    While I'm certain Dappered has gotten some affiliate dollars through me clicking a link and impulse buying some deal, I mostly have used the reviews of mainstream items to thrift. An example would be the Banana Republic and Bonobos items reviewed... I'm not waiting for the $120 item to go on sale for $99, I'm buying it for $15 at the thrift store because I am educated about what it is.

  6. #66
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    Quote Originally Posted by julius12 View Post
    I see being stylish as a part of myself, a component of presenting myself well in a nice-looking package (together with good grooming and being fit), but it is not the entire 'me'. It's a means to an end, to make it easier to talk to and attract girls (when I was single), to make good first impressions, to be somewhat noticeable instead of blending in the background with other non-stylish guys, to be taken more seriously at establishments or the workplace, etc. But I wouldn't want to keep talking about style with other guys. I don't have any guy friends who would enjoy that type of talk, and honestly I think I'd find it boring too.
    This sums up my outlook nicely. I wanted to start dressing better to attract women and feel more confident about myself. Now looking good/dressing well is a part of my life. The wife always gives me grief when we're leaving the house to run the simplest of errands. I'll be slacking around the house and we'll have to leave to get groceries or something. I'll take off up stairs and get changed in to an OCBD and dark jeans or something and grab a watch. Then it's putting on a nice pair of shoes and out the door. She finds is fascinating that I can't leave house in slob mode.

  7. #67
    Varsity Member Furious Styles's Avatar
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    I know I'm late to the thread (thanks, Joe, for linking to it!), but I wanted to say how much this site has helped me find my fashion voice for so many years. In the last two, I've drifted away from daily visits as I've taken a more urban Dappered look for my public persona. I love that I can be Dappered conservative easily when the moment calls for it. But I find I like the individual statement style of rocking a nice pair of Jordans with fitted pants and sweater more often.

    I'll always be indebted to this site; I feel like it and my fashion sense grew up in the same neighborhood and played every day for years. Then we went to different colleges and just keep in touch.

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    Yes. Not only got for less clothing my style has become more simpler. I love fitted black t shirts, indigo denim trouser , quality loafera and nice watch. I could wear it every day. I wear my long sleeves and blazers just because I already have them. So I force myself to dress up once a week.

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    I'm not interested in "growing." Growing as in buying from higher end brand, or push the envelope more.

    My wardrobe has been like this the past, I dunno, at least 3 years: MTM from a local tailor, BR, Allen Edmonds. I've been wanting to buy a pair of shoes from Carmina for ages, but haven't.

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    Quote Originally Posted by 3piece View Post
    I'm not interested in "growing." Growing as in buying from higher end brand, or push the envelope more.

    My wardrobe has been like this the past, I dunno, at least 3 years: MTM from a local tailor, BR, Allen Edmonds. I've been wanting to buy a pair of shoes from Carmina for ages, but haven't.
    Same here. Being dappered to me is about dressing well but fitting into a certain budget etc. I am not chasing the beat possible look price regardless. Its a fine line though to fit that good fit, style and price but also look into new brands outside the norm.

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