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Thread: Beach "black tie optional"

  1. #21
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    What an interesting contradiction!

    First, I'd confirm the wedding is actually on the beach versus a beachfront property. For a beachfront property, your recommended combo sounds spot on.

    If you're actually on the beach in Mexico, having anything more than a linen shirt and some lightweight, rolled up dress pants seems like overkill.

  2. #22
    Super Moderator hornsup84's Avatar
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    Had my SO ask, and the ceremony is indeed on the beach, not just beachfront property. Bride somewhat acknowledged that it doesn't make sense, but didn't otherwise get too much guidance.

    I do think the "what is the issue?!" crowd is seeing this a bit more simple than most. There is an inherent disconnect between normal beach wedding attire and a stated "black tie optional" dress code. If you do not wear a tux for BTO, the appropriate alternative is a dark suit and tie. Heck, but for a tropical locale, technically BTO should mean black bow tie / black tux (or midnight navy), not a white or other dinner jacket. That being said, some disregard dress code norms, which is fine--just not my SOP.

  3. #23
    Super Moderator LesserBlackDog's Avatar
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    Tux on the beach is just blowing my tiny mind.

    Like all I can imagine people wearing at beach destination weddings is flowy off-white linen. Probably barefoot. With bad sunglasses. At the ceremony.

    IDK.
    Ben

  4. #24
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    Lean into the beach part, and get yourself a pair of patent leather (cause it's a tux) Vibram Five Finger "shoes."

  5. #25
    Varsity Member Dun's Avatar
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    Shoot, I'd go a step further and wear a white linen, or seersucker, shirt underneath. There are going to be two groups of people there: those that dress up for it and are uncomfortable, and those that dress for the weather. I'd try to land in the middle while still looking good if you end up in any photographs. No one will care about in-person wrinkles, and the camera won't immortalize those kinds of details anyway.

    Also, what time of day is this?

    I've done a bit of fancy wedding videography in southern california, not as tropical as mexico, but you do get ocean breeze. So dressing up but letting air in helps. Leave your sleeves unbottoned.

  6. #26
    Varsity Member Nandyn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Domino View Post
    Lean into the beach part, and get yourself a pair of patent leather (cause it's a tux) Vibram Five Finger "shoes."
    I love the last part. I actually have several pairs of 5 fingers and used to wear them all the time (not just for running) when I used to run a lot. Super comfortable for my wide, flat feet. Now I only wear them when I'm working out, running, or hiking.

    If only regular shoes could be feet shaped and still look good.

  7. #27
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    I have gone to a black tie optional beach wedding. It was awfully stupid.

    The ceremony was also on the beach itself, and then the reception was indoors, just a few yards away at the resort's reception hall. I assume this was offered as part of some destination wedding package, similar to what you'll be doing.

    I actually asked the groom about it, and he said that they made it "black tie optional" to deter the guests from wearing hawaiian shirts and flip flops at the wedding. They didn't want the wedding photos to look like the guests were at a summer BBQ. Might be the same rationale that the bridge and groom at your upcoming wedding are thinking.

    Ultimately, almost everyone wore full suits (albeit in lighter colors, like heather grays, medium/royal blues, etc.), and only the immediate family members and wedding party opted for tuxes. I did the same (wearing a suit), and it looked fine.

    I am the kind of guy that will 99% of the time wear a tux if it's "black tie optional" (I bought one, so why not?), but I couldn't bring myself to wear a tux on the beach. It seemed stupid, and I thought it would be way too hot to wear one. Also, given the age range of most of the guests at this wedding (late 20s to early 30s), I thought that only half of the guests would wear a tux at any black tie optional wedding, and probably a fraction of that half would wear a tux given the weather.

    All in all, I think I made the right choice with what I wore (a lighter colored wool suit), and I, like you, spent way too much time thinking about it.

  8. #28
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    I envision myself spending the entire ceremony looking around at other guests furious they are underdressed and more comfortable than me, then drinking too much at the open bar to compensate.

  9. #29
    Super Moderator hornsup84's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lax101 View Post
    I have gone to a black tie optional beach wedding. It was awfully stupid.

    The ceremony was also on the beach itself, and then the reception was indoors, just a few yards away at the resort's reception hall. I assume this was offered as part of some destination wedding package, similar to what you'll be doing.

    I actually asked the groom about it, and he said that they made it "black tie optional" to deter the guests from wearing hawaiian shirts and flip flops at the wedding. They didn't want the wedding photos to look like the guests were at a summer BBQ. Might be the same rationale that the bridge and groom at your upcoming wedding are thinking.

    Ultimately, almost everyone wore full suits (albeit in lighter colors, like heather grays, medium/royal blues, etc.), and only the immediate family members and wedding party opted for tuxes. I did the same (wearing a suit), and it looked fine.

    I am the kind of guy that will 99% of the time wear a tux if it's "black tie optional" (I bought one, so why not?), but I couldn't bring myself to wear a tux on the beach. It seemed stupid, and I thought it would be way too hot to wear one. Also, given the age range of most of the guests at this wedding (late 20s to early 30s), I thought that only half of the guests would wear a tux at any black tie optional wedding, and probably a fraction of that half would wear a tux given the weather.

    All in all, I think I made the right choice with what I wore (a lighter colored wool suit), and I, like you, spent way too much time thinking about it.
    Thanks for the input. It's still an interesting one to me, as the bride/groom are from good families, from tri-state area, def know black tie, etc., so it isn't a situation where they don't know what they're asking. In fact, the response my wife got was that they understood it. It is their wedding, so I am wanting to honor their wishes for attire appropriately. Just trying to figure out how best to do it! (and not die of heartstroke / still look dapper without being overly dandy)

    Quote Originally Posted by Kurps View Post
    I envision myself spending the entire ceremony looking around at other guests furious they are underdressed and more comfortable than me, then drinking too much at the open bar to compensate.
    This is most certainly what will occur, so long as you mix in a bit of contempt and self-aggrandizement.

  10. #30
    Varsity Member Nandyn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by hornsup84 View Post
    Thanks for the input. It's still an interesting one to me, as the bride/groom are from good families, from tri-state area, def know black tie, etc., so it isn't a situation where they don't know what they're asking. In fact, the response my wife got was that they understood it. It is their wedding, so I am wanting to honor their wishes for attire appropriately. Just trying to figure out how best to do it! (and not die of heartstroke / still look dapper without being overly dandy)



    This is most certainly what will occur, so long as you mix in a bit of contempt and self-aggrandizement.
    What about that grey Bonobos tux on the dappered front page deals post?

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