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Thread: Let's talk mental health!

  1. #11
    Varsity Member armedferret's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mebejoseph View Post
    I'm glad you're taking affirmative steps to take care of yourself. It pains me doubly to know of the issues you young folks face after serving. I have many younger friends dealing with similar problems.
    Well it's either take care of myself or gradually lose touch and end up a statistic, and while I very well may end up a statistic in the end anyway (#taxationistheft--world's second killdozer? **JOKING**) my wife is way too hot to hit that up just yet.

    Humor aside, I've lost plenty of friends to the postwar battle. It ain't pretty. And not that I'm "that guy" (i would *NEVER* flaunt my disability rating for personal gain in all seriousness) I do joke from time to time with the wife about needing a dog to balance out the cat and ferrets, and it could go everywhere with us as my service aminal.

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    Super Moderator DocDave's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mebejoseph View Post
    A huge part of dealing with a problem is recognizing it is there. And it sounds like you've done that and more. Keep up the good work.
    True words this ^^ . I know in my life for a long time I had a poor attitude. I'd wake up each day and not be happy with my station in life. But with real effort on my part, I started looking at the positives in life. I focused on the positives rather than the negatives. And that small change (although it may have been small, it took a lot of effort on my part) had a huge impact on my life.

    Seeing the positives spread to other areas. Dressing better. Better outlook at work. Better to be around. Etc.

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    This is a well timed thread. I recently moved into a new neighborhood and we finally have a decent gym at available to us. I have back issues that are way better if I exercise a couple of times a week but I have to say that the little extra around my midsection has been bothering me more and more. I hate to be too caught up on putting a lot of stock into my personal appearance but its hard not to at least a little. Anyway, I just hit the gym for the second time this week and am slowly ramping up my activity while there so I dont hurt myself but it feels good for sure.

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    One place where my wife and I differ on mental health is the idea of Happiness. My wife has a "goal" of some sort of happiness and she is always striving towards it. But I mean say you hit that goal, shouldn't there be something beyond that to stretch towards? My differing view is to be content with what you have. This has allowed me to brush a lot of things off that previously bothered me.

    For instance, I really wanted a perfect lawn for some reason and came to the realization that it will never happen. Most people in my neighborhood don't have one and it's not due to money as there is a ton of that around, it is that I like in a park with houses basically. I have woods in my backyard so dense I cannot see my house from my property line. That said, crap will get in my yard, trees will offer shade that kills whatever grass I try to put down, so living with it has relieved any stress related to it.

    This has similarly happened with clothes where I wanted a huge variety but in reality I just want to wear the shit out of 5-10 things because I truly love them. It has been a long process but realizing all of this has helped my mental health. Small problems and demons we all face.

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    Quote Originally Posted by JBarwick View Post
    One place where my wife and I differ on mental health is the idea of Happiness. My wife has a "goal" of some sort of happiness and she is always striving towards it. But I mean say you hit that goal, shouldn't there be something beyond that to stretch towards? My differing view is to be content with what you have. This has allowed me to brush a lot of things off that previously bothered me.

    For instance, I really wanted a perfect lawn for some reason and came to the realization that it will never happen. Most people in my neighborhood don't have one and it's not due to money as there is a ton of that around, it is that I like in a park with houses basically. I have woods in my backyard so dense I cannot see my house from my property line. That said, crap will get in my yard, trees will offer shade that kills whatever grass I try to put down, so living with it has relieved any stress related to it.

    This has similarly happened with clothes where I wanted a huge variety but in reality I just want to wear the shit out of 5-10 things because I truly love them. It has been a long process but realizing all of this has helped my mental health. Small problems and demons we all face.
    Happiness is such an abstract concept if you really think about it. I was raised in a house where achievement was not only expected but mandated, and that environment caused all kinds of issues for me, the youngest of 3 with untreated ADHD. I'd test at the 95th percentile, and then completely forget to do my homework and wind up with B's, which were unacceptable to my parents. That made it really hard to develop the capacity to celebrate any victory, and for most of my 20's, I spiraled any time I felt that I wasn't making enough progress, either professionally or personally. That attitude cost me a number of what could have been very healthy relationships.

    I read a book that helped me stand some of that on its head though, and I would wholesale recommend it to anyone where the tagline seems to resonate with them:

    https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0080K3G4O...ng=UTF8&btkr=1

    It helped me to understand that I didn't need to be saccharine to be satisfied. I'm still not very good at remembering that, but it's a work in progress.

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    Quote Originally Posted by JBarwick View Post
    One place where my wife and I differ on mental health is the idea of Happiness. My wife has a "goal" of some sort of happiness and she is always striving towards it. But I mean say you hit that goal, shouldn't there be something beyond that to stretch towards? My differing view is to be content with what you have. This has allowed me to brush a lot of things off that previously bothered me.
    I'm with you and science is as well. Not necessarily being "content" with what you have, but appreciating it, having gratitude for it. Some type of gratitude practice can really help most people.

    https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/b...fits-gratitude

    One of the biggest signs of depression is not taking care of yourself. My being put together with clothes and grooming is an outward sign that I'm operating on all cylinders.
    @DocDave mentioned meditation - if you really want to start from zero, there are some great starter meditations at the UCLA Mindful Awareness Research Center. Try the 5 minute breathing one to start. If you have the free "insight timer" app, 3 or 4 of these are found there as well. Stay with the "mindfulness" ones until you learn more about it.

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    Quote Originally Posted by carlitos View Post
    I'm with you and science is as well. Not necessarily being "content" with what you have, but appreciating it, having gratitude for it. Some type of gratitude practice can really help most people.

    https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/b...fits-gratitude
    Its a fine line with being happy with what you have and settling for whats available. For me I boil it down to the old adage "is the juice worth the squeeze?" and go from there. Killing yourself to obtain something that is potentially unattainable is a tough scenario.

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    Super Moderator DocDave's Avatar
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    I read an article - and for the life of me I can't find it - that talked about how technology is have a HUGELY negative impact on our lives.

    People are seeing all these great lives on Instagram/Facebook and it is causing them to be depressed. They want the nice cars, the trips, the Botox injections. And when they can't afford it, or see that their life isn't as glamorous, depression sets in. Just as @idvsego and @carlitos say, it's important to be happy with what you have.

    I find I am on the socials less and less. I've never been on Facebook and my presence on Instagram is less and less. I don't feel like I'm missing out on anything and have yet to see a compelling reason why I NEED to be on there.

    The article talked about how people take their phones to bed. It is the last thing they do at night and the first thing they do in the morning. If that doesn't add to mental stress and decrease your quality of life, I don't know what does.

    What's also interesting is that summer has returned (or is returning) to my part of the world. I've been able to get out on my road bike more getting away from everything. Riding brings me happiness. My greatest stress when riding, besides not being hit by a car? Find a good spot to take a photo


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    Quote Originally Posted by DocDave View Post
    I read an article - and for the life of me I can't find it - that talked about how technology is have a HUGELY negative impact on our lives.

    People are seeing all these great lives on Instagram/Facebook and it is causing them to be depressed. They want the nice cars, the trips, the Botox injections. And when they can't afford it, or see that their life isn't as glamorous, depression sets in. Just as @idvsego and @carlitos say, it's important to be happy with what you have.

    I find I am on the socials less and less. I've never been on Facebook and my presence on Instagram is less and less. I don't feel like I'm missing out on anything and have yet to see a compelling reason why I NEED to be on there.

    The article talked about how people take their phones to bed. It is the last thing they do at night and the first thing they do in the morning. If that doesn't add to mental stress and decrease your quality of life, I don't know what does.

    What's also interesting is that summer has returned (or is returning) to my part of the world. I've been able to get out on my road bike more getting away from everything. Riding brings me happiness. My greatest stress when riding, besides not being hit by a car? Find a good spot to take a photo

    judging yourself against someone else's self crafted public image is a situation set up for disaster. Even here. I never see anyone go "this outfits sucks and these pants fit me like a sack. Just thought i would drop a quick pics of it." I wouldn't expect it. But our kids are growing up thinking people live the way they are presenting on social networks ALL THE TIME. I had a very real talk with my kids. I was like "you live with me and you dont even see all of how I live and what I deal with." and we all proceeded to share some things we hadnt ever shared with the others. Not all big things, it was just an excercise in how you cant judge yoursefl agaisnt others because you dont actually know them. Walking a mile in someones shoes is cool, but they have but in hundreds of thousands of miles in them.

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    Quote Originally Posted by DocDave View Post
    I read an article - and for the life of me I can't find it - that talked about how technology is have a HUGELY negative impact on our lives.

    People are seeing all these great lives on Instagram/Facebook and it is causing them to be depressed. They want the nice cars, the trips, the Botox injections. And when they can't afford it, or see that their life isn't as glamorous, depression sets in. Just as @idvsego and @carlitos say, it's important to be happy with what you have.

    I find I am on the socials less and less. I've never been on Facebook and my presence on Instagram is less and less. I don't feel like I'm missing out on anything and have yet to see a compelling reason why I NEED to be on there.

    The article talked about how people take their phones to bed. It is the last thing they do at night and the first thing they do in the morning. If that doesn't add to mental stress and decrease your quality of life, I don't know what does.

    What's also interesting is that summer has returned (or is returning) to my part of the world. I've been able to get out on my road bike more getting away from everything. Riding brings me happiness. My greatest stress when riding, besides not being hit by a car? Find a good spot to take a photo

    Beautiful photo. The background is nice too, lol.

    I miss my bikes.

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