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Thread: #WOmen'swear?

  1. #31
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    Quote Originally Posted by Danny View Post
    I wouldn't say that "it's bad" if you're getting more compliments on your clothing than your partner. It's just different. If you're ok with that dynamic in your relationship than I don't see anything wrong with it.
    This. Although I would add that really being okay with something involves more than just saying you're okay with it. It involves not thinking about it all the time. Or mentioning how your partner is dressed. Or offering subtle critiques. Oftentimes, we say we're okay with things that we're not okay with. This is what leads to resentment that comes spilling over at the worst possible times. That said, if you find yourself only saying your okay with it while not actually being okay with it you should probably figure out why you care and who should be responsible for making you feel better. I think it's legit to request a little bit if a style upgrade in certain situations. I also thing a lot of my caring about what other people do speaks to my own insecurities. If I get those in check, I tend to focus on the important things instead.

  2. #32
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    Quote Originally Posted by DocDave View Post
    BUT what do you do when your wife/gf/partner has no interest in upping her style game? Or to make matters worse, her idea of style is to pick up some clothes from REI and then head out on the town? Kind of a function over form kinda deal. Then what's a stylish guy to do? Is it a bad thing when you are getting more looks and compliments than your wife/gf/partner?
    I wouldn't try to change anyone in general. At least not by words. I'm "be the change" kind of person.

    I wouldn't say something like "You shouldn't wear black too often. This/that color is better."
    But I would say, when asked why I didn't wear black more often, "I'm not a fan of wearing black too often. Other colors are more interesting."

    Quote Originally Posted by DocDave View Post
    Is it a bad thing when you are getting more looks and compliments than your wife/gf/partner?
    You're asking me? My answer is no it's not a bad thing.

  3. #33
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    Really being okay with something involves more than just saying you're okay with it. It involves not thinking about it all the time. Or mentioning how your partner is dressed. Or offering subtle critiques. Oftentimes, we say we're okay with things that we're not okay with. This is what leads to resentment that comes spilling over at the worst possible times. That said, if you find yourself only saying your okay with it while not actually being okay with it you should probably figure out why you care and who should be responsible for making you feel better. I think it's legit to request a little bit if a style upgrade in certain situations. I also thing a lot of my caring about what other people do speaks to my own insecurities. If I get those in check, I tend to focus on the important things instead.
    That's insightful. Well said.

  4. #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by ImagePree View Post
    Nowadays, I get the, "Why are you so dressed up? Where are you taking me?" when I'm in an OCBD and dark jeans with JCP boots. Meanwhile, she looks like a "well-to-do hobo", to quote @Danny. The difference, however, is she can get away with that look and I cannot. Although, she does get jealous that it's relatively simple for me to pull together an outfit when she tries on 4-5 ensembles everytime we have an outing.
    One thing I have realized is that my journey has led me to value options and some diversity in my wardrobe. I rarely double up on an item if it is too similar, unless it's something that is a staple (white shirt, blue shirt, wingtips). My wife, on the other hand, is totally predictable in what she will buy when we go shopping. I can pick it out before she even goes to the fitting room. She will pick the conservative dress or the floral print blouse- creature of habit. I definitely have my go to items, don't get me wrong. But I think she has a hard time pulling together an outfit because she is looking for something different/more interesting and her choices haven't afforded her many options to that end. Meanwhile, I match the burgundy cords with the same shirt I wore yesterday with jeans and add a casual blazer and she asks when I went shopping (and the I have to prove that these are all not new items by busting out the credit card statement).

  5. #35
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    This is the only thing I can offer to the wives who need a place to start: http://www.marilyn.ca/Fashion/segment

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