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Thread: Baby Fat

  1. #21
    Varsity Member M. Montaigne's Avatar
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    So much for my plans of working out. The little tyke is asleep on me as I'm typing this. I move and he stirs. He has me cornered (quite literally in a corner of the sectional).

  2. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by Duvel View Post
    And if your wife isn't with you on this, be careful, and don't be afraid to jump ship before the cargo becomes too heavy.
    This is awful. If you choose to have kids, you have to know you're putting your wife's figure at risk, both from the baby and the lifestyle fallout. To be always poised to flee if she gains more weight will make her feel insecure and exacerbate the problem, because she will sense your lack of commitment.
    I cannot respect your attitude here.

  3. #23
    Varsity Member M. Montaigne's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AngusM View Post
    This is awful. If you choose to have kids, you have to know you're putting your wife's figure at risk, both from the baby and the lifestyle fallout. To be always poised to flee if she gains more weight will make her feel insecure and exacerbate the problem, because she will sense your lack of commitment.
    I cannot respect your attitude here.
    Indeed. Mine has certainly put on more than a few lbs, but the way I see it, she just had a baby. Now, if she still has it after a year or two, then it's different.

    But for the immediate future, I realize that she's put her PhD on hold to take care of the little guy. Plus, it's hard for her to diet when she's nursing - not only is it not fair to her, it is also not good for the kid. He's on top of the list, followed by sleep. Working out doesn't even figure until we've got all that squared away.

    Interestingly, much like Duvel, she's former Navy, so I'm sure her conditioning will kick in and she'll be in good shape in no time.

  4. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by M. Montaigne View Post
    Now, if she still has it after a year or two, then it's different.
    I still think that we've more or less assumed the risk that our wives will never get their figures back by deciding to have kids. I just can't get on board with the idea that a man's commitment to his wife should be conditional on her figure. Sure, she might put on weight as a symptom of other issues that wreck the marriage (in fairness to @Duvel it seems like that might have been his situation), but the underlying idea that, "Well, of course it's over if she doesn't get her girlish figure back," troubles me.

    That's probably all I should say on the subject, both because this doesn't really seem like a topic that's likely to lead to productive discussion and because it feels like it's majorly derailing the thread. Just had to throw my two cents in for others to take or leave as they choose.
    Last edited by AngusM; June 5th, 2014 at 12:52 PM.

  5. #25
    Varsity Member M. Montaigne's Avatar
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    Indeed. And well said.

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    I gave duvel the benefit of the doubt and assumed he meant that don't be afraid to get on the diet yourself with out your wife joining in.

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    Nothing good can come out of the direction this is moving in...

  8. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by Manceptional View Post
    Nothing good can come out of the direction this is moving in...
    I hope my comments are no more than a tangent on an otherwise helpful thread. Also, if @ninpb is right and I'm arguing with a strawman, my sincere apologies to @Duvel and the community at large.

  9. #29
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    It wasn't just "a few pounds." And it wasn't just for a year or two. It was continual, and I stayed with her, faithfully, for almost 3 decades, nearly 2 during which she was morbidly obese. I loved her, and I still do, but I long ago stopped liking her and respecting her. Even after her gastric bypass surgery, she did not have the will power to "stick with it," and she regained much of her weight. There were other factors involved in our eventual divorce, including my barely buried bitterness over two affairs she had early on in the marriage.

    So, I am serious, and I make no apologies for it, that you should not force yourself to live with someone who is willing to let himself or herself go to that extent.

  10. #30
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    When your wife is so obese, that you can't stand the thought of having intimate relations, as it were... that's a problem. Believe me. I'm not such an ass that I expect my wife to have a perfect figure. I'm no great shakes either. But I am close to my "ideal" weight, and I do stay in reasonable shape.

    Part of my frustration with my ex-wife also was that, aside from the sex appeal consideration, there was her health to consider. How inconsiderate of her to disregard her health at my expense! Meaning, she could have died early on. And in reality, most of our medical bills were for her health problems directly attributable to obesity. Borderline diabetes. Bad knees. Bad back. Blood pressure. And the gastric bypass--which she failed to make work.

    I sound bitter about it, and if that's so, it's only because when I was 24, she was the love of my life. I adored her on every level.

    Quote Originally Posted by AngusM View Post
    I still think that we've more or less assumed the risk that our wives will never get their figures back by deciding to have kids. I just can't get on board with the idea that a man's commitment to his wife should be conditional on her figure. Sure, she might put on weight as a symptom of other issues that wreck the marriage (in fairness to @Duvel it seems like that might have been his situation), but the underlying idea that, "Well, of course it's over if she doesn't get her girlish figure back," troubles me.

    That's probably all I should say on the subject, both because this doesn't really seem like a topic that's likely to lead to productive discussion and because it feels like it's majorly derailing the thread. Just had to throw my two cents in for others to take or leave as they choose.

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