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The best compliment ever? Thanks to Dappered . . .

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    The best compliment ever? Thanks to Dappered . . .

    So, today my wife and I checked into a hotel (BTW, the most expensive hotel I've ever stayed at--long story at to why) One of the young women desk clerks blurted out a compliment to me: "Wow--you look so nice--you look expensive." If I had been thinking on my feet, I would have joked with her that I normally am, but since I'm on vacation, I'd give her a discount. (Who knows, if I'd done that, I might be writing to penthouse letters about a hot threesome right now.)

    At any rate--what I was wearing was far from expensive and most of it recommended by Dappered. J Crew Ludlow unstructured unlined sportscoat (it is summer, you know). Got it on sale for $100 bucks from a steal alert on Dappered. $30 pair of chinos from Amazon--again, suggested by Dappered. Belt about the same cost, again recommended by Dappered.

    Rhone polo shirt for $66--the Dappered Polopaloza winner (I love these--I've purchased four).

    She was behind the desk, so she didn't see my $450 Herring Premier shoes. But besides from those, the whole get-up cost about $200. And she said I looked "expensive."

    So--the lesson--follow the advice on this website, and you too will have hot young women thinking you look expensive. And maybe other folks will think you look like money and hire you and pay you the big bucks.

    Or at least you will look great without spending a crap load of money.
    Last edited by mebejoseph; July 10, 2021, 10:18 PM.
    WHY ARE THE GUYS IN SUITS HERE? HAS SOMETHING GONE WRONG?

    #2
    Ha! I had quite a similar experience while on vacation - I took only 1 sportcoat with me and since I didn't want to lug a garment bag around, I just wore it on the plane, so I had it on over a nice-looking short-sleeve shirt and some linen pants. The girl at the front desk when we checked out to leave couldn't stay away from me and flirted shamelessly, which I returned in a "you're cute, but I'm not about to cheat on my wife" kind of way.

    The funny thing? This was a textured cotton sportcoat that I got on a huge discount from JC Penny for $35 and had tailored to fit me well.

    As men nowadays, the bar is set SO low.......haha

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      #3
      I've had a few of these over the years. Probably the best is from my wife, who refers to my clothing as "wrapping paper". She did this once on a girls night, to giggles and nods from her friends. Apparently it's a widely shared opinion that nice clothes not only look good on guys, but are also fun to tear off.

      Like you, I stick to relatively inexpensive basics. And yes, the bar is incredibly low. A well fitting polo and chinos now qualifies as dressed up, especially if there's a non sport watch and a decent pair of dress shoes as part of the choices.

      Likely the most sincere compliment I've never had that made me straight up blush in public was from a male flight attendant, who complimented a sport coat I was wearing from Spier. I don't recall exactly what he said, and while it wasn't in a way that was hitting on me, did cause everyone in the first ten or so rows to look.

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        #4
        Yeah I knew I was doing OK when one of the best dressed women at my work said "Here comes Mark, the best dressed guy at [EMPLOYER NAME REDACTED]." I had two other women ask me if my wife dresses me because their experience lead them to believe that the only way a guy will dress well is if the woman in his life takes over and does it for him.

        I wear stuff that at full price, the outfit might run to $700 but most of that stuff I got on steep discount for well below that. My outfits (when I'm wearing a sport coat) probably all told cost about $300 or so exclusive of shoes and most of my suits are J Crew, which are $700 full price but I don't think I've ever paid more than about $350 for one. Just be a little patient and wait for the discounts and it doesn't cost that much to look better than about 90% of guys out there, and 90% is really probably a low ball estimate.
        Last edited by mark4; July 9, 2021, 02:04 PM.
        “Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.” – Mark Twain

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          #5
          Originally posted by mebejoseph View Post
          So--the lesson--follow the advice on this website, and you to will have hot young women thinking you look expensive. And maybe other folks will think you look like money and hire you and pay you the big bucks.

          Or at least you will look great without spending a crap load of money
          This is LITerally the point of the website! I say this unironically, of the goals you've set for yourself, you can scratch one off the list! And you've helped us with getting there, too.

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            #6
            You better bring it next week sir.

            I love this place. I love Joe. I love lamp.

            Especially lamp.
            https://www.professorhorseyhead.com

            Comment


              #7
              I don't recall exactly what he said, and while it wasn't in a way that was hitting on me, did cause everyone in the first ten or so rows to look.
              ha.......Dressing well does make an impression. I work in health care and for the nurses at work, all I really have to do is wear clothes that fit with dressy shoes and a watch and I'm by far the best dressed guy there. I wore a sportcoat in once and got comments borderign on harassment. I've had these recently...."yeah.....he looks real nice today"..."your kids can go to school and say 'my dad does NOT have a dad bod'."....etc. I'm 6' 0" and 215lbs - far from a perfect figure, it's just that my clothes fit like they should. It's almost too easy.

              On a more serious note, It's not about impressing people for me though. I try to look decent to show respect for myself and others. I was a slob and a drunkard for a number of years. Thanks to Falun Gong (a meditation practice somewhat similar to tai-chi) I have sobered up, matured a great deal, and lost about 30 pounds. This and other sites have been a few of the tools I've used to learn and grow in this area, and for that information I am grateful.

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                #8
                Can make a difference. I had an experience boarding a flight, where the attendants guiding people to boarding lines assumed I was first class when I showed up in a sport coat (bonobos unlined)/lulu abc pants. Have had a few comments of why am I always so dressed up, even though I am more uncomfortable in full athleisure. And was able to get into a rooftop club, that was accepting reservation only (no reservation), after waiting 10 minutes (guessing because I was slightly dressed up, summer weight chino with sport coat).

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                  #9
                  Originally posted by nathan miller View Post

                  ha.......Dressing well does make an impression. I work in health care and for the nurses at work, all I really have to do is wear clothes that fit with dressy shoes and a watch and I'm by far the best dressed guy there. I wore a sportcoat in once and got comments borderign on harassment. I've had these recently...."yeah.....he looks real nice today"..."your kids can go to school and say 'my dad does NOT have a dad bod'."....etc. I'm 6' 0" and 215lbs - far from a perfect figure, it's just that my clothes fit like they should. It's almost too easy.

                  On a more serious note, It's not about impressing people for me though. I try to look decent to show respect for myself and others. I was a slob and a drunkard for a number of years. Thanks to Falun Gong (a meditation practice somewhat similar to tai-chi) I have sobered up, matured a great deal, and lost about 30 pounds. This and other sites have been a few of the tools I've used to learn and grow in this area, and for that information I am grateful.
                  Yeah, that's familiar to me as well, and I'm nothing special in the face, though I do take care of my body with exercise. If only squats helped above the neck. Alas. Ten years ago in my early 40s (about the time I discovered dressing well), it happened more frequently than it does now at 50. All the same, there's at least the perception of some double standard. I rather suspect that I'm ill informed about how much women deal with in the workplace, instead of me being picked on. Certainly my wife has had things said to her far more blatant than how nice I look or how my dad bod is more like a frat bod.

                  Echo positive comments on the site and its creator. I've had a few interactions with Joe, he strikes me as a good man.

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                    #10
                    The double standard is at least offset, and explained, by a lack of physical fear on our part.

                    Rather like how a puppy growling is cute, but a full-grown mastiff is frightening. A man is generally not going to be threatened by comments on his appearance, unless the woman/person making them is in a position of authority, because there isn't that always-present physical power imbalance. Being on the receiving end might be uncomfortable, but you're not worried Matt Lauer is going to lock you in his office.

                    Had some experience with this in my first office job. I was just 20, looked maybe 16, and courtesy of some weird scheduling was for two days a week the only man in an office of a dozen women ranging from roughly my age to old enough to be my grandmother. I could be simultaneously mothered, hen-pecked and sexually harassed, and just to keep it interesting they'd keep switching roles.

                    It never particularly bothered me because I knew it wasn't serious, and couldn't be a danger. Which made it particularly amusing when the same behaviours reduced my loud, profane ex-football player colleague, who was literally twice my size, to red-faced incoherence. It was akin to seeing kittens intimidate a Rottweiler.

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                      #11
                      I think you're right, Galcobar, that there's a big fear component to it. Generally men don't have to worry about whether a woman might intend to harm them. At the same time, there's another factor that's frequently lost on men. We actually wouldn't mind being hit on or ogled and, therefore, kind of assume (or used to, anyway) that it would be just as flattering to women. If a woman pulled up alongside a man at a stoplight and gave him "that look", maybe even said something, it would be the highlight of his month! But if that happens to a woman, she thinks "Gross!". Women simply don't react to the physical the same way men do and that's a hard thing for us guys to reconcile.

                      Anyway... I've had this "best compliment" moment subsequent to joining this community. I've always enjoyed being well put together but I've learned quite a bit here, especially about fit and finish - the most important aspect. My wife works from some pretty wealthy people. The owner is always well dressed in very expensive clothes. I've never really thought I could "compete" because my typical workwear is a button up, 5-pocket pants (F&T 365, etc), leather belt, and AE shoes. Always nice but quite straight forward and not flashy or anything. The occasional sport coat if going out. And whenever I go into her office I do feel a bit under-dressed next to her bosses bespoke double-breasted or whatever he has going on that day. Well one day we all went to his (very expensive) house for a summer party. I wore a short-sleeve button up (Bonobos, maybe), a nicely fit pair of BR Core Temp shorts, and my white Pumas. Simple, summery, not flashy. When he met us at his door he said, "I'm so glad you wore shorts! I was worried when I put mine on because you're always dressed so well and I wasn't sure what you would wear!" So here I've been thinking about how I stack up to this very wealth, well-suited guy when, in fact, he's concerned that he won't be as put together as me. Ha!

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                        #12
                        Originally posted by armedferret View Post
                        You better bring it next week sir.
                        .
                        We are looking forward to meeting you--but that will be an entire week of living out of a suitcase--I'm not sure what kind of shape our wardrobe will be in.

                        WHY ARE THE GUYS IN SUITS HERE? HAS SOMETHING GONE WRONG?

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                          #13
                          No worries man. I'm well in harmony with traveling light.

                          I won't have seen you in any of it so it'll all be new to me.
                          https://www.professorhorseyhead.com

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                            #14
                            Even small compliments are memorable, particularly if they're from attractive women. I've gotten "nice shoes" about nice but not expensive brown dress shoes (Cole Haan I think), and "I wish my husband wore shoes like that" about a sleek pair of blue loafers.

                            Also various comments on my "scarf game" recently on Zoom calls. A few years ago I got "You smell good" and then "JT10000 always smells good" from two women half my age. "Seesucker - nice" (actually it was cordlane, but I'll take it).

                            Originally posted by nathan miller View Post
                            it's just that my clothes fit like they should. It's almost too easy.
                            Yeah - in a lot of situations it's not hard for a guy to rise way above average. I'm in a slightly dressier field than health care, but still it's not hard - nice shoes, clothes that fit, a blazer. I've been doing scarves recently and women really seem to dig it.

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                              #15
                              [QUOTE=JT10000;n433638. I've been doing scarves recently and women really seem to dig it.
                              [/QUOTE]


                              When the weather cools off I'll consider a scarf, for practical as well as aesthetic reasons.

                              I get a lot of "you smell so good" coming at me, too. It doesn't seem to matter what I spritz on that day, either.

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