How to convince "the boss" (if you get what I mean)

[j.r.]

So, this may be tailored (ha!) more towards the married dudes, but some of you may be in a relational pairing with a sockdologizing old man-trap. (Google it - I have been challenging myself to use this phrase whenever possible...)


Do any other dudes turn blue in the face explaining to their women that quality fitting menswear that looks good is not that simple to come by? How do you get them to understand?


When I got my suit tailored she insisted "Don't get it too skinny. Why do you need it tailored anyway?" I would be happy to follow-up with a pic so you can see how it fits. Far from tight, and could still be adjusted a bit in the shoulders...


Back story: We pinch pennies until they scream. Her, in particular. I own a mere 4 pairs of jeans to her 18 (quality, not quantity) but the total cost is probably even. She buys tops and a pants under 15 dollars and shoes under 40 and thinks I need to do the same. She gets annoyed when I get things tailored (but I make it happen anyway). A true product of her raise, but I won't go down that road...

[scrambledpotato]

Get ready to go Preteen, because you're about to ask for an allowance.


My wife and I set up allowances each month to spend on 'whatever'. We budgeted in some money each month that we can spend without judgement or approval. If she wanted to spend it all on jellybeans to throw at cars on the highway, I'm not going to stop her (why would I? That would be on YouTube so fast) So with that essentially 'throw away' money each month, you can spend it on whatever you want. Granted, you may have to save up a couple of months to pay for a tailor or buy something really extravagant, but at least you've budgeted for it.


The advantage is that it allows you to have freedom and ownership of the rewards of your labor. You'll probably argue about money less as well. Just set the budget together - it's worked for my wife and I.

[SDot]

This is why you can't just throw all your money into one account. Creates issues. I'm with @scrabled, have a set amount of % that each of you get each month to spend on what ever you like.

[jputman08]

@j.r. Agree with all the others. Setting a budget you can spend on whatever makes things so much easier. No questions asked. My wife and I have had this setup for a couple months and it seems to work well.


As an aside, if you relay to her the importance of tailoring to you, she may see the light. She may not understand it, but she'll just need to accept the fact that you find it important to wear well fitting clothes. "You feel more confident at work". "Looking nice and well put together might help with that promotion". "I believe in quality over quantity, honey, which is why I picked you". OK - don't use that last one. This can translate to more money in your collective bank account and perceived security in your future together.

[j.r.]

Thanks, gentlemen


@scrambledpotato - LOL "preteen".


So... we already have this factored into our budget (god bless Mint.com), so I should have included that in my original post. But what seems like a logical amount? I think we initially discussed 150 a month. That got me a pair of 511s, a cardigan, and a merino v last month.


@Jared - quite the sycophant, are we? I am the king of cheese, so that last line might actually work! haha

[Eyerman]

This thread is so funny. I am only 23 and not even close to being married, but I can't help but read this thread. @j.r. have you showed her a before and after picture of the suit being tailored? She may not really see a big difference unless you show them side by side?

[jputman08]

@j.r. WORD on mint.com. I'm the budget manager and created custom categories and budgets so when she asks how much money she has, I can quickly and accurately tell her.


The amount is TOTALLY up to you and should be based on your income - expenses. Total up your household income (post-tax) and subtract your standard monthly expenses (house/apt, groceries, gas, cell phone, etc). Make sure you are saving money. We're trying to save 20% of our post tax income, but that is just a recommendation. Take what's left and make a logical decision between the two of you in regard to what you can comfortably spend. Hope this helps.

[MaxMan]

lol at this thread, it sounds like a page from my life. My wife and I live by a budget. Its a modest $130 a month, with a biannual you get anything you want deal under a certain amount of money. The thing with women is that they dont understand the difference between quality and price. To them everything is cheap because womens clothes is a "saturated" market and every company is competing against the other to not only keep up with the trends and prices but to also maximize their returns, so they (women) end up with poor quality clothes that last them a season. Whereas menswear market doesnt amount to much lol...I explain this to my wife and we go back and forth with this for a while (try arguing with an attorney for a wife). But she has come around to understanding the quality of quantity thing and the menswear vs. womenswear markets, she has some quality pieces now as well. considering the 900 bucks i shelled out to get her a "OMG its a Louis bag, babe" which in married talk means you better get me this bag or your eating cereal for dinner for a month...lol...

[j.r.]

@Eyerman - I'm only 26, my dude. So its funny to me, as well (even though I started the thread). What's not funny is when you know a person through and through but you don't factor in their family frugality... a product of her raise that one.


@Jared - according to Mint.com, we spend 25% on rent and put just under 20% in savings, and the rest breaks down into all other bills/expenses/misc. So its reassuring to hear your numbers! Thanks!

[BYC]

The allowance sounds like a great idea. I'm just speaking hypothetically (not married yet), but when I get married I had planned to split all costs proportionally to each person's income, and then the other person can spend the rest on whatever they want. This may only work if you make somewhat similar incomes though.


As for the argument about higher quality clothes/tailoring:

-A guy in a tailored $10 shirt looks much better than a guy in a billowy $200 shirt. Tons of examples of this on the internet.

-Even though the upfront costs are high, a $200 pair of shoes that lasts 10+ years saves more money than a $50 pair of shoes that you throw out every year (They look much better also).

-It is much more cost effective to buy one pair of $100 pants that you love and wear all the time, than four pairs of $25 pants that fit weird and you never wear. This works for tailoring as well.

-From what i've seen women's clothes are generally cheaper


I guess it boils down to that buying quality sometimes ends up saving you more money over time, and you enjoy and wear the clothes more. Guys don't really buy clothes by outfits like women do, we prefer to have a smaller number of quality pieces that all work well with each other and we use them to make different outfits.

[j.r.]

@MaxMan - hahaha perfect! Thanks for the insight. I like the biannual deal... right now, we both need new computers, so that will probably be the key factor here. But its nice to hear stories such as yours! Fantastic.


@BYC - absolutely to all of the above. Sucks when you buy a 19 dollar shirt and then spend 18 to have it tailored though... its a lose-lose situation.

My salary is only a few thousand more than hers, so it works out fairly well.

[jputman08]

@j.r. For 26, it sounds like you've got a great handle on budgeting and understanding where your money is actually going.

[gabe_gador]

Separate checking accounts for us : ) And she happens to like it that my clothing is tailored to fit well.

[Eyerman]

Agreed. I am an accountant and I still struggle at budgeting sometimes!

[glaeken]

From the subject line I thought you were trying to dress to get noticed by the boss and get some interoffice hanky-panky going.