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    #31
    Buy a black vegas suit. By which I mean pick up something that fits really well for less than $200 from Macy’s or JCF and know you’ve always got a suit you don’t care that much about for Vegas, funerals, Halloween, nights out that might go badly (or well!) etc.

    I’m not into black but I’ve found it surprisingly useful having a suit i don’t care about.


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

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      #32
      Originally posted by aps2012 View Post
      you’ve always got a suit you don’t care that much about for Vegas, funerals, Halloween, nights out that might go badly (or well!) etc.

      I’m not into black but I’ve found it surprisingly useful having a suit i don’t care about.
      Indeed, it's the very reason people in spill-prone occupations involving food, alcohol, and coffee have black uniforms. Even the publicly-drunk stumbling tourists in Vegas won't be able to ruin the look.

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        #33
        Originally posted by Geo View Post
        It's already been said a dozen times but I'll say it again. Just wear a black suit and be honored to be a part of your buddy's big day. Ignore everyone that says it doesn't hurt to ask. Planning a wedding can be very stressful. The last thing anyone wants is more unsolicited advice. The bride and groom will get plenty of that from their families.
        Be an adult and have a conversation. My buddy asked me to wear a specific white dress shirt (w/ front pocket) from Brooks Brothers as part of his wedding party. I told him I didn’t like BB and that I would wear my normal dress shirt from Banana Republic (no front pocket) instead and it was fine.

        I also told him that I didn’t like the suit he chose (Jos Bank) but still ultimately went with and ended up liking it. Nonetheless, not saying anything never crossed my mind because he’s one of my best friends and we never expect each other to hold our tongue. That’s because we’re adults and know how to have an open conversation. That’s the part I find most bewildering by all the responses here.
        Last edited by garryowen47; February 12, 2020, 08:16 PM.

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          #34
          Originally posted by garryowen47 View Post
          Be an adult and have a conversation. My buddy asked me to wear a specific white dress shirt (w/ front pocket) from Brooks Brothers as part of his wedding party. I told him I didn’t like BB and that I would wear my normal dress shirt from Banana Republic (no front pocket) instead and it was fine.

          I also told him that I didn’t like the suit he chose (Jos Bank) but still ultimately went with and ended up liking it. Nonetheless, not saying anything never crossed my mind because he’s one of my best friends and we never expect each other to hold our tongue. That’s because we’re adults and know how to have an open conversation. That’s the part I find most bewildering by all the responses here.
          Sure. But it's not required. There's no need to tell a guy that you don't like the suit he chose for his wedding party. It's not accomplishing anything good. Being an adult also means that you can discern between when a conversation is required and when it's ok to say nothing at all.

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            #35
            Black suits have gotten a bad rap over the past few years, but I still think they can look badass. Nothing looks more rock and roll.

            I’m in the camp that if the groom asked for a black suit, you buy a black suit and don’t try to be different. Black and charcoal look similar until you’re standing next to a bunch of black suits and you’re going to stick out like a sore thumb. Just buy a cheapie and be honored that your friend asked you to be part of his big day.

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              #36
              The best thing to do is pick out a suit, send a picture to the groom and ask, is this ok?

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                #37
                Originally posted by JohnR View Post
                Originally posted by garryowen47 View Post
                Be an adult and have a conversation. My buddy asked me to wear a specific white dress shirt (w/ front pocket) from Brooks Brothers as part of his wedding party. I told him I didnÂ’t like BB and that I would wear my normal dress shirt from Banana Republic (no front pocket) instead and it was fine.

                I also told him that I didnÂ’t like the suit he chose (Jos Bank) but still ultimately went with and ended up liking it. Nonetheless, not saying anything never crossed my mind because heÂ’s one of my best friends and we never expect each other to hold our tongue. ThatÂ’s because weÂ’re adults and know how to have an open conversation. ThatÂ’s the part I find most bewildering by all the responses here.
                Sure. But it's not required. There's no need to tell a guy that you don't like the suit he chose for his wedding party. It's not accomplishing anything good. Being an adult also means that you can discern between when a conversation is required and when it's ok to say nothing at all.
                Mandatory comment about garryowen making this his Little Bighorn / Ia Drang Valley. Gotta pick your battles, bruv. Both with forum posters and with grooms who don't know #menswear.

                Anyhoo, OP's question isn't "Do I or do I not ask my friend to change the code to charcoal?" It's "Will a charcoal suit look sufficiently black?" and the answer is sometimes, but with indoor lighting and when you're standing next to people in actual black, it won't fly. OP this happened to me two years ago. I considered going the Lands' End Year 'Rounder route (<$200 and it's half-decent) since the only other options were JAB and Mens Wearhouse but then found a black Versace mainline suit from one of the big ebay consignment guys. Luxeswap or gooseguy84, one of those. It was dirt cheap and basically new, so I grabbed it and then had it cleaned and tailored. Done.

                Bonus points:
                The black suit sees essentially no wear, as I am neither a Japanese businessman nor a frequent funeral attendee, but here's the cool part: the jacket is ventless with peak lapels, but no it's not a dinner jacket, so I got some morning dress pants, with the double cashmere stripe, and a buff vest from Charles Tyrwhitt and when combined with the jacket, I had a stroller! Like a 1920s banker on holiday, or the Monopoly man. King of the daytime Gatsby parties, baby. I'd like to wear this more, actually, but don't want to turn into a cosplay weirdo, alas.

                -But I digress-

                Of course, this whole bloated thread is because weddings are the original exercise in hashtag bougie, with us plebes trying to mimic the rituals and pageantry of the rich. You just know those Roaring 20s grooms didn't 1. have a pile of groomsmen about them, 2. have to tell everyone to wear X, or 3, have to then see them show up wearing their rental garb badly. Rather, they just invited their friends and, I guess since this sort of predates marrying for love, their business associates and business-associates-in-law, and all the invitees were familiar with dress codes and knew to show up looking like a Laurence Fellows character. Unfortunately, The Wedding Industry happened and folks misinterpreted ruling class dress codes for "Oh I guess we all need identical black suits then." The answer is of course that we should bring back some sort of dress code guideline for the masses, but of course in a less restrictive and classist manner than what rich cats had during the interbellum years, but that ain't happening, so really the wedding industry just needs to die...and then I'd gladly wear the black suit to its funeral.
                Last edited by stuffedsuperdud; February 13, 2020, 02:33 AM.

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                  #38
                  Originally posted by stuffedsuperdud View Post
                  You just know those Roaring 20s grooms didn't 1. have a pile of groomsmen about them, 2. have to tell everyone to wear X, or 3, have to then see them show up wearing their rental garb badly. Rather, they just invited their friends and, I guess since this sort of predates marrying for love, their business associates and business-associates-in-law, and all the invitees were familiar with dress codes and knew to show up looking like a Laurence Fellows character.
                  There is an interesting book about 1939 wedding costs that helped give me some perspective. 1939 is when things like wedding magazines first started coming out, but before the industry had taken over.

                  Two things stick out about the costs for me as detailed in this book.

                  1. Grooms spent $650 in today's money on their clothes back then. One fellow spent $9,000. That has to be more than it is now. But, I imagine $650 meant a slick bespoke suit. Maybe even a tophat. And, no polyester to be had in 1939.

                  2. More money was spent on the groom's clothes than the entire reception. 1939 reception spend averaged $500 in today's money. I suppose this makes sense as Diner's Club hadn't been invented and perhaps throwing a party that cost more than a down payment on a house was not perceived as mandatory.

                  It seems like weddings went from having the groom looking sharp to spending all our money on lukewarm steaks and cover bands. What a rip-off for #menswear.

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                    #39
                    Perhaps the best option is a second hand suit, it is probably cheaper than renting.

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                      #40
                      Originally posted by garryowen47 View Post
                      Be an adult and have a conversation. My buddy asked me to wear a specific white dress shirt (w/ front pocket) from Brooks Brothers as part of his wedding party. I told him I didn’t like BB and that I would wear my normal dress shirt from Banana Republic (no front pocket) instead and it was fine.

                      I also told him that I didn’t like the suit he chose (Jos Bank) but still ultimately went with and ended up liking it. Nonetheless, not saying anything never crossed my mind because he’s one of my best friends and we never expect each other to hold our tongue. That’s because we’re adults and know how to have an open conversation. That’s the part I find most bewildering by all the responses here.
                      Ironic this is your example for why you should ask. This exact thing happened at my buddy’s wedding in October. One guy didn’t want to wear the picked shirt. Brought his own. It was slightly different than everyone else. My buddy (groom) was upset that he had to be different and why bring that extra stress as there was already enough stuff to worry about that day. He didn’t complain to that guy. He complained to the rest of us.

                      But it’s obvi just a fundamental difference in how we both see the situation. I hope the OP has enough info to make the right choice for him.
                      Last edited by hockeysc23; February 13, 2020, 08:58 AM.

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                        #41
                        Originally posted by stuffedsuperdud View Post
                        Mandatory comment about garryowen making this his Little Bighorn / Ia Drang Valley. Gotta pick your battles, bruv. Both with forum posters and with grooms who don't know #menswear.
                        Us Cavalrymen have never been very good at graceful withdrawals...

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                          #42
                          Originally posted by stuffedsuperdud View Post
                          Of course, this whole bloated thread is because weddings are the original exercise in hashtag bougie, with us plebes trying to mimic the rituals and pageantry of the rich. You just know those Roaring 20s grooms didn't 1. have a pile of groomsmen about them, 2. have to tell everyone to wear X, or 3, have to then see them show up wearing their rental garb badly. Rather, they just invited their friends and, I guess since this sort of predates marrying for love, their business associates and business-associates-in-law, and all the invitees were familiar with dress codes and knew to show up looking like a Laurence Fellows character. Unfortunately, The Wedding Industry happened and folks misinterpreted ruling class dress codes for "Oh I guess we all need identical black suits then." The answer is of course that we should bring back some sort of dress code guideline for the masses, but of course in a less restrictive and classist manner than what rich cats had during the interbellum years, but that ain't happening, so really the wedding industry just needs to die...and then I'd gladly wear the black suit to its funeral.
                          And I enthusiastically agree with everything here! Well said.

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                            #43
                            Originally posted by MIS997 View Post
                            Black suits have gotten a bad rap over the past few years, but I still think they can look badass. Nothing looks more rock and roll.

                            I’m in the camp that if the groom asked for a black suit, you buy a black suit and don’t try to be different. Black and charcoal look similar until you’re standing next to a bunch of black suits and you’re going to stick out like a sore thumb. Just buy a cheapie and be honored that your friend asked you to be part of his big day.
                            Black suits can look good but do go in and out of style some. They were nowhere in the 1980s, then Quentin Tarantino started making movies and everyone started wearing black suits because they thought it make them look badass like those guys in those movies. The thing we've learned since is that guys like Samuel L Jackson and Harvey Keitel look badass in just about everything. The moral being to look badass you have to be a badass or at least be good at seeming like a badass. Just wearing a black suit is not going to do the trick.

                            Now, black outerwear never, ever goes out of style. NYC is the most stylish city in the nation, and if you want to spot the tourists in NYC in the winter it's easy - they're the ones not wearing black coats.
                            “Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.” – Mark Twain

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                              #44
                              I've been wanting a black blazer for a while, any recommendations? I was keeping an eye on Uniqlo.

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                                #45
                                Originally posted by whereismurder View Post
                                I've been wanting a black blazer for a while, any recommendations? I was keeping an eye on Uniqlo.
                                I have a Brooks Bros one in black cashmere, with soft shoulders, notch lapels, two button front with pewter buttons, and a single vent, which I like to pair with gray mohair trousers, white shirt, dark tie, and either black captoes or black velvet slippers. Pretty useful for vague evening dress codes, such as cocktail attire, or for black tie optional sorts of affairs where hardly anyone actually wears a proper black tie rig. BB has a similar one in stock right now, but it's rather expensive, esp for something you won't get that many wears out of; if you have time and patience to keep looking, I would suggest that anything that has some texture and relaxed shoulders and clearly not an orphaned suit jacket is good to go. The texture itself I'd prefer something from the flannel/velvet/woolen family, as opposed to hopsack or fresco, since it's probably going to be more for cool weather / evening use.

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