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Dark Grey Instead of Black?

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  • MIS997
    replied
    Black suits have gotten a bad rap over the past few years, but I still think they can look badass. Nothing looks more rock and roll.

    I’m in the camp that if the groom asked for a black suit, you buy a black suit and don’t try to be different. Black and charcoal look similar until you’re standing next to a bunch of black suits and you’re going to stick out like a sore thumb. Just buy a cheapie and be honored that your friend asked you to be part of his big day.

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  • JohnR
    replied
    Originally posted by garryowen47 View Post
    Be an adult and have a conversation. My buddy asked me to wear a specific white dress shirt (w/ front pocket) from Brooks Brothers as part of his wedding party. I told him I didn’t like BB and that I would wear my normal dress shirt from Banana Republic (no front pocket) instead and it was fine.

    I also told him that I didn’t like the suit he chose (Jos Bank) but still ultimately went with and ended up liking it. Nonetheless, not saying anything never crossed my mind because he’s one of my best friends and we never expect each other to hold our tongue. That’s because we’re adults and know how to have an open conversation. That’s the part I find most bewildering by all the responses here.
    Sure. But it's not required. There's no need to tell a guy that you don't like the suit he chose for his wedding party. It's not accomplishing anything good. Being an adult also means that you can discern between when a conversation is required and when it's ok to say nothing at all.

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  • garryowen47
    replied
    Originally posted by Geo View Post
    It's already been said a dozen times but I'll say it again. Just wear a black suit and be honored to be a part of your buddy's big day. Ignore everyone that says it doesn't hurt to ask. Planning a wedding can be very stressful. The last thing anyone wants is more unsolicited advice. The bride and groom will get plenty of that from their families.
    Be an adult and have a conversation. My buddy asked me to wear a specific white dress shirt (w/ front pocket) from Brooks Brothers as part of his wedding party. I told him I didn’t like BB and that I would wear my normal dress shirt from Banana Republic (no front pocket) instead and it was fine.

    I also told him that I didn’t like the suit he chose (Jos Bank) but still ultimately went with and ended up liking it. Nonetheless, not saying anything never crossed my mind because he’s one of my best friends and we never expect each other to hold our tongue. That’s because we’re adults and know how to have an open conversation. That’s the part I find most bewildering by all the responses here.
    Last edited by garryowen47; February 12, 2020, 08:16 PM.

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  • ianr
    replied
    Originally posted by aps2012 View Post
    you’ve always got a suit you don’t care that much about for Vegas, funerals, Halloween, nights out that might go badly (or well!) etc.

    I’m not into black but I’ve found it surprisingly useful having a suit i don’t care about.
    Indeed, it's the very reason people in spill-prone occupations involving food, alcohol, and coffee have black uniforms. Even the publicly-drunk stumbling tourists in Vegas won't be able to ruin the look.

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  • aps2012
    replied
    Buy a black vegas suit. By which I mean pick up something that fits really well for less than $200 from Macy’s or JCF and know you’ve always got a suit you don’t care that much about for Vegas, funerals, Halloween, nights out that might go badly (or well!) etc.

    I’m not into black but I’ve found it surprisingly useful having a suit i don’t care about.


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

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  • Geo
    replied
    It's already been said a dozen times but I'll say it again. Just wear a black suit and be honored to be a part of your buddy's big day. Ignore everyone that says it doesn't hurt to ask. Planning a wedding can be very stressful. The last thing anyone wants is more unsolicited advice. The bride and groom will get plenty of that from their families.

    If you don't want to shell out for a new suit I recommend a rental from The Black Tux. Their suits are decent and are more modern fitting than most rental places. I think they even let you have them tailored.

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  • JohnR
    replied
    Originally posted by mebejoseph View Post
    You can end your conflicted feelings for about $150 at Macy's:



    https://www.macys.com/shop/product/a...=COLOR%3DBlack

    Wear it the one time and then donate it to charity.
    There you have it!

    And with a few bucks toward tailoring, it will look better than most guys there, too.

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  • mebejoseph
    replied
    You can end your conflicted feelings for about $150 at Macy's:



    https://www.macys.com/shop/product/a...=COLOR%3DBlack

    Wear it the one time and then donate it to charity.

    Leave a comment:


  • CJMichaelRay
    replied
    Originally posted by LesserBlackDog View Post
    Having known some bridesmaids, I think "thrilled" might be a bit of an exaggeration.

    Plus outside of designer labels, many bridesmaids' dresses can be a lot cheaper than a typical suit, in the $100-300 range. (I just browsed Nordstrom for these numbers.)

    I'd recommend OP buy a cheap black suit... Lands' End is my go-to for cheap suits these days. They aren't great but they're ok and that's really all you need in this circumstance. And they come in black.
    I agree with this take. Just get a black suit from somewhere that's inexpensive. My suggestion was going to be JC Penney since they're everywhere and you can try before you buy, and maybe if you get lucky and the suit doesn't get dirty, you can return it after lmao

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  • JohnR
    replied
    Not thrilled about the dress, and quite often for good reason, but about being included in the wedding party. I get that OP is hoping to kill two birds but think it's not the best approach

    Sent from my SM-G975U using Tapatalk

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  • mark4
    replied
    Originally posted by Tacitus View Post
    If they're close enough friends that you're in their wedding, you should just suck it up and go along with the requested dress code. There are more important things in life than being dapper 100% of the time (am I allowed to say that on here?).
    It's OK to say that as far as I'm concerned. Being Dapper is a virtue but it's a pretty minor virtue compared to a lot of the others like...honesty, loyalty, trustworthiness, compassion, intelligence, and just being an all around good person. If the folks planning the wedding want you to wear black wear black. If they told you to wear a 70's era powder blue tux...well, it's their wedding so do what you're told. Throw on some Sex Panther and just go with it.

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  • LesserBlackDog
    replied
    Originally posted by JohnR View Post
    Bridesmaids are always asked to buy a dress they'll never wear again. They're thrilled and honored to do so and don't try to figure out a way to get around it for their own future use.
    Having known some bridesmaids, I think "thrilled" might be a bit of an exaggeration.

    Plus outside of designer labels, many bridesmaids' dresses can be a lot cheaper than a typical suit, in the $100-300 range. (I just browsed Nordstrom for these numbers.)

    I'd recommend OP buy a cheap black suit... Lands' End is my go-to for cheap suits these days. They aren't great but they're ok and that's really all you need in this circumstance. And they come in black.

    Leave a comment:


  • facelessghost
    replied
    This thread is a good reality check for all of us. #menswear isn't the real world. Use what you learn to look better and feel better, but remember that for the most part, no one notices or cares (unless you go too far, in which case people will notice or care for the wrong reasons).

    [MENTION=17913]klindsey[/MENTION], it's a reasonable question. Maybe use this as an opportunity to by a black suit that you might actually use from time to time, but that you would never have bought otherwise.

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  • JohnR
    replied
    Bridesmaids are always asked to buy a dress they'll never wear again. They're thrilled and honored to do so and don't try to figure out a way to get around it for their own future use.

    Leave a comment:


  • ianr
    replied
    Originally posted by klindsey View Post
    Hemsprong: Black suits are generally less versatile than dark grey and suited (pun intended) mostly just for eveningwear, though they are not appropriate for black tie. They tend to look severe during the day, and can make you look like a priest or a waiter. That's the argument, anyway, take it for what its worth.
    For what it's worth, I don't think people really mistake someone in a full, black lounge suit for a waiter. Waiter uniforms are about practicality, theatrics, and uniformity. Uniformity was a big deal 100 years ago when you could expect all the gentlemen at the restaurant to dress up in tuxedo or at least dinner jacket, so the wait staff would dress just like them. And, unless you were walking around the restaurant with a napkin draped over your wrist, nobody would have thought you were a waiter in that era, either.

    These days, people don't consider going to a fancy restaurant to be a big deal. People don't even know how to correctly hold their silverware much less care about what they are wearing. Modern society is more used to eating out of a bag in a t-shirt. You might spend $500 per head on a meal with everyone at the adjacent table wearing randomly-styled clothing. The old-school uniformity isn't even normal anymore.

    More common I've seen is the practical, gender-neutral waiter uniform of the black waistcoat and slacks. If they get food on their sleeve, they can just change their shirt. Wearing this is how to actually be mistaken for a waiter, barista, bartender, croupier, etc.

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