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    #16
    Did I miss something? Why are black suits a "no no"?

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      #17
      To answer the original question... if they say you have to wear black then you have to wear black. No excuses.

      However, it might be worth mentioning to the groom to be that you’re just going to rent one because you don’t see yourself ever wearing a black suit again and don’t want to spend the money to buy one.

      Hopefully he takes the hint, but if not just suck it up and rent a black suit. A few hours in one won’t kill you.

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        #18
        Thanks all, this is a helpful conversation.

        I should be clear, I truly don't mind wearing a black suit, especially at the request of a friend. I was just thinking this might be an excuse to get a decent charcoal suit that I don't have any pressing need for independent of this wedding. I may try mebejoseph's line. I like that approach because it's not suggesting that I don't want to wear what was requested and it puts the decision in the groom's court, where it should be. On the other hand, I think many of the folks who posted above are right - I just need to wear a black suit. Plus, if I don't need a charcoal suit on its own, maybe I don't need a charcoal suit at all.

        Another quick point. The groom (not the bride) chose black on purpose. Not everyone adheres to classic menswear (or Dappered) style, and that is fine and normal and the way it should be. Everyone can and should have a unique sense of style, and the groom does.

        Hemsprong: Black suits are generally less versatile than dark grey and suited (pun intended) mostly just for eveningwear, though they are not appropriate for black tie. They tend to look severe during the day, and can make you look like a priest or a waiter. That's the argument, anyway, take it for what its worth.

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          #19
          I would suggest buying a cheap black suit and having it tailored. An inexpensive tailored suit will be more comfortable than a rental and may not even cost that much more, especially if you can find the correct length sleeves off the rack.

          If there is any doubt, I would ask the groom if any of the other groomsmen are wearing a tuxedo. In that case, buy a black tuxedo as that may come in useful later.

          If it has to be a standard informal suit, at least you can have this suit again for a funeral, memorial, or another wedding.

          I wouldn't try to get away with anything. As noted above, this choice is probably for photography. It is totally debatable if uniformity is good for photography. It is also debatable if focusing on capturing life events in photos detracts from experiencing the moment. Humans have limited memories and it may be disappointing later to have the most vivid memories being the stress of posing for staged photographs during what was supposed to be a life-changing milestone experience enjoyed among close friends and family. But, please save those debate topics for your own life events and wear whatever you are asked to for this one.

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            #20
            Originally posted by Hemsprong View Post
            Did I miss something? Why are black suits a "no no"?
            Funny, I'm not a fan of black suits, but I had a black double breasted blazer with big silver buttons that was my favorite for years. Also, I have a black cashmere blazer I love right now.

            I would wear it would charcoal striped trousers. Once I wore it with a red tie, black shirt, and black and white spectator shoes to a performance of Tony and Tina's Wedding (an interactive play) in Vegas. The other people at our table thought I was one of the actors.

            But yeah--black suits--they are okay, but--

            What [MENTION=17913]klindsey[/MENTION] said here is why I'm not a fan.

            Black suits are generally less versatile than dark grey . . . They tend to look severe during the day . . .
            Also, if you go with a white shirt and dark tie, people make jokes about your Halloween costume--"Hey, it's Men In Black."
            Last edited by mebejoseph; February 12, 2020, 11:01 AM.
            WHY ARE THE GUYS IN SUITS HERE? HAS SOMETHING GONE WRONG?

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              #21
              Originally posted by klindsey View Post
              Hemsprong: Black suits are generally less versatile than dark grey and suited (pun intended) mostly just for eveningwear, though they are not appropriate for black tie. They tend to look severe during the day, and can make you look like a priest or a waiter. That's the argument, anyway, take it for what its worth.
              For what it's worth, I don't think people really mistake someone in a full, black lounge suit for a waiter. Waiter uniforms are about practicality, theatrics, and uniformity. Uniformity was a big deal 100 years ago when you could expect all the gentlemen at the restaurant to dress up in tuxedo or at least dinner jacket, so the wait staff would dress just like them. And, unless you were walking around the restaurant with a napkin draped over your wrist, nobody would have thought you were a waiter in that era, either.

              These days, people don't consider going to a fancy restaurant to be a big deal. People don't even know how to correctly hold their silverware much less care about what they are wearing. Modern society is more used to eating out of a bag in a t-shirt. You might spend $500 per head on a meal with everyone at the adjacent table wearing randomly-styled clothing. The old-school uniformity isn't even normal anymore.

              More common I've seen is the practical, gender-neutral waiter uniform of the black waistcoat and slacks. If they get food on their sleeve, they can just change their shirt. Wearing this is how to actually be mistaken for a waiter, barista, bartender, croupier, etc.

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                #22
                Bridesmaids are always asked to buy a dress they'll never wear again. They're thrilled and honored to do so and don't try to figure out a way to get around it for their own future use.

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                  #23
                  This thread is a good reality check for all of us. #menswear isn't the real world. Use what you learn to look better and feel better, but remember that for the most part, no one notices or cares (unless you go too far, in which case people will notice or care for the wrong reasons).

                  [MENTION=17913]klindsey[/MENTION], it's a reasonable question. Maybe use this as an opportunity to by a black suit that you might actually use from time to time, but that you would never have bought otherwise.

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                    #24
                    Originally posted by JohnR View Post
                    Bridesmaids are always asked to buy a dress they'll never wear again. They're thrilled and honored to do so and don't try to figure out a way to get around it for their own future use.
                    Having known some bridesmaids, I think "thrilled" might be a bit of an exaggeration.

                    Plus outside of designer labels, many bridesmaids' dresses can be a lot cheaper than a typical suit, in the $100-300 range. (I just browsed Nordstrom for these numbers.)

                    I'd recommend OP buy a cheap black suit... Lands' End is my go-to for cheap suits these days. They aren't great but they're ok and that's really all you need in this circumstance. And they come in black.
                    Ben

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                      #25
                      Originally posted by Tacitus View Post
                      If they're close enough friends that you're in their wedding, you should just suck it up and go along with the requested dress code. There are more important things in life than being dapper 100% of the time (am I allowed to say that on here?).
                      It's OK to say that as far as I'm concerned. Being Dapper is a virtue but it's a pretty minor virtue compared to a lot of the others like...honesty, loyalty, trustworthiness, compassion, intelligence, and just being an all around good person. If the folks planning the wedding want you to wear black wear black. If they told you to wear a 70's era powder blue tux...well, it's their wedding so do what you're told. Throw on some Sex Panther and just go with it.
                      “Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.” – Mark Twain

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                        #26
                        Not thrilled about the dress, and quite often for good reason, but about being included in the wedding party. I get that OP is hoping to kill two birds but think it's not the best approach

                        Sent from my SM-G975U using Tapatalk

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                          #27
                          Originally posted by LesserBlackDog View Post
                          Having known some bridesmaids, I think "thrilled" might be a bit of an exaggeration.

                          Plus outside of designer labels, many bridesmaids' dresses can be a lot cheaper than a typical suit, in the $100-300 range. (I just browsed Nordstrom for these numbers.)

                          I'd recommend OP buy a cheap black suit... Lands' End is my go-to for cheap suits these days. They aren't great but they're ok and that's really all you need in this circumstance. And they come in black.
                          I agree with this take. Just get a black suit from somewhere that's inexpensive. My suggestion was going to be JC Penney since they're everywhere and you can try before you buy, and maybe if you get lucky and the suit doesn't get dirty, you can return it after lmao

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                            #28
                            You can end your conflicted feelings for about $150 at Macy's:



                            https://www.macys.com/shop/product/a...=COLOR%3DBlack

                            Wear it the one time and then donate it to charity.
                            WHY ARE THE GUYS IN SUITS HERE? HAS SOMETHING GONE WRONG?

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                              #29
                              Originally posted by mebejoseph View Post
                              You can end your conflicted feelings for about $150 at Macy's:



                              https://www.macys.com/shop/product/a...=COLOR%3DBlack

                              Wear it the one time and then donate it to charity.
                              There you have it!

                              And with a few bucks toward tailoring, it will look better than most guys there, too.

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                                #30
                                It's already been said a dozen times but I'll say it again. Just wear a black suit and be honored to be a part of your buddy's big day. Ignore everyone that says it doesn't hurt to ask. Planning a wedding can be very stressful. The last thing anyone wants is more unsolicited advice. The bride and groom will get plenty of that from their families.

                                If you don't want to shell out for a new suit I recommend a rental from The Black Tux. Their suits are decent and are more modern fitting than most rental places. I think they even let you have them tailored.

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