Holiday Party Help

[hockeysc23]

Hey all

Holiday party season is here. I’ve got two in the same week so could use some help.

First is in Tulsa for our company party. Most don’t dress up (Ties are asking a lot) but our President (who I know pretty well) is wearing a tux. I have a nice one from SuSu so I was going to wear that.

Wondering if I should spice up a normal tux with either a holiday bow tie (like velvet texture or even design) to bring down the formality add some fun a slight bit or if that is too much?

For the second party it’s cocktail attire at DC wine bar. I was going to wear my purple velvet sport coat. What tie color or style should I look for? I’ve worn it before with a simple black tie but don’t know if I should try something new.

Thanks in advance.

[mebejoseph]

My opinion about the company party is that if the company President is the only one wearing a tux and then you wear one as well, it's possible you could engender bad feelings from both the President and your co-workers. The President might think you're an upstart and stealing his limelight. Your coworkers might think you're trying to show them up.

Given that possibility, I'd suggest you stay away from the tux. Unless you know others will be wearing one as well. Or maybe if you mention it to the President and he seems to think it's a good idea.

That said, when I've worn a tux to holiday parties, I've gone with a touch of whimsy for neck wear. I will admit that one year I even did one of these, though many of you might gasp.

https://www.amazon.com/YanLen-Pack-F.../dp/B0793M4DR6

By the way, I wasn't the only one at that party wearing something like that. We both got complimented a lot.


Good question on the purple dinner jacket. Are you wearing a white shirt or another color? I would stick with black. Maybe a complimentary shade of purple (but not an exact match), navy, or royal blue?

If you're wearing a shirt other than white, that is a different question.

[JBarwick]

I would just suit up nicely. The reason I say this is that you do not know how formal the President's tux is. I went to a black-tie optional wedding recently and the only ones in tuxes were the groomsmen. My tux was more on the formal side which would have somewhat outshined the bridal party which you shouldn't do.

As for other party, have fun with it!

[hockeysc23]

Thanks [MENTION=17354]mebejoseph[/MENTION] I don’t know if he will be the only one. I’ll need to figure that out I guess. It just won’t be the majority.

Majority of my coworkers in my area of the company are females so no tux show up issues haha jk. I just have the impression that most just hate dressing up. But it’s a fancy hotel for the venue. I’ll get more info.

For the purple jacket my assumption was white shirt but open to all input.

[MENTION=4069]JBarwick[/MENTION] I assume it’s the one he wore to our tech center opening a month or so ago. Traditional black tux.

[MediumTex]

There's some ego massage to consider here. If the CEO's own employees don't dress up or hate to, yet he's going to be in a tux, that right there is a power statement. He's not-so-subtly requesting the spotlight. I say let him have it...the spotlight, that is. As others have suggested, let your accessories be your statement. Whether it's a nice pocket square, cuff links, a more boldly patterned shirt or whatever, let that set you apart. I can almost guarantee that those choices will still garner positive comments about your attire without having to worry about upstaging the boss.

As an aside, and I mean this in good spirits, what I think I hear you saying is, "I have a bada$$ tux that I never get to wear and I really want to wear it."

Same opinion on the purple jacket - let that be the statement and let everything else complement it. White shirt, black tie, purple jacket and, perhaps the best accessory, the co-jones to pull it off with confidence.

[hockeysc23]

There's some ego massage to consider here. If the CEO's own employees don't dress up or hate to, yet he's going to be in a tux, that right there is a power statement. He's not-so-subtly requesting the spotlight. I say let him have it...the spotlight, that is. As others have suggested, let your accessories be your statement. Whether it's a nice pocket square, cuff links, a more boldly patterned shirt or whatever, let that set you apart. I can almost guarantee that those choices will still garner positive comments about your attire without having to worry about upstaging the boss.

As an aside, and I mean this in good spirits, what I think I hear you saying is, "I have a bada$$ tux that I never get to wear and I really want to wear it."

Same opinion on the purple jacket - let that be the statement and let everything else complement it. White shirt, black tie, purple jacket and, perhaps the best accessory, the co-jones to pull it off with confidence.

No offense taken. That was my mindset. I have a tux and thought it might be an event to wear it

My old company was a black tie event and since I’ve left that company it doesn’t get use. The DC focused party is cocktail attire. The home base party I heard he wore a tux so got excited haha

[mark4]

I agree on the tux...unless your boss is for sure encouraging others to wear black tie it could be his statement and having someone else make that statement (potentially even better than he does) could maybe cause some ill will. What do you think others will be wearing to that party? Will the women be in cocktail dresses or more casual than that? If people don't tend to dress up at your workplace, this could be an opportunity to wear a favorite suit you never get to wear anymore...or a sport coat if even a suit seems too much...or maybe invert things and wear the velvet jacket to the work party and the tux for the DC party?

I live in DC, and while a tux is not "cocktail attire" you can certainly drink a cocktail while wearing one, and DC is a pretty formal city. The upscale cocktail bars there...lots of people show up wearing really nice suits. In fact, that's the norm rather than the exception. Spotting a tux in such a place would be slightly unconventional but not in any way beyond the pale. It sounds like since it's your ex workplace you don't have to worry about whether you upstage anyone, and if someone asks why the tux use the Jack Donaghy from line from 30 Rock: "because it's after 6. What am I a farmer?" In that situation, since you're going more formal than required some whimsical accessories would be fine. Or just go super classic full black tie and be the most sophisticated guy there.

[hockeysc23]

Asked around. Sounds like a few others are wearing tuxes in Tulsa. It wouldn’t just be the majority.

To clarify. My old work was black tie thus I have a nice tux. At my current place it’s new to me. I used to be just project based focusing on my DC project. People wore very casual to the holiday party. A tux there would not work.

Now I work for corporate (Tulsa) so I attend both parties.

[mebejoseph]

Asked around. Sounds like a few others are wearing tuxes in Tulsa. It wouldn’t just be the majority.

Great! Go for it, then! And I do like to add some holiday-themed accessories. I've also worn a red cummerbund and matching tie. Also, silver vest and matching tie. It's the holidays--have fun with it.

[armedferret]

Hey all

Holiday party season is here. I’ve got two in the same week so could use some help.

First is in Tulsa for our company party. Most don’t dress up (Ties are asking a lot) but our President (who I know pretty well) is wearing a tux. I have a nice one from SuSu so I was going to wear that.

Wondering if I should spice up a normal tux with either a holiday bow tie (like velvet texture or even design) to bring down the formality add some fun a slight bit or if that is too much?

For the second party it’s cocktail attire at DC wine bar. I was going to wear my purple velvet sport coat. What tie color or style should I look for? I’ve worn it before with a simple black tie but don’t know if I should try something new.

Thanks in advance.

Which wine bar? I know a horse might could crash.

I have a shload of bow ties, some hawaiian-type floral pattern, a red one with jolly rogers, and a little of everything in between. I'd be happy to toss one your way if you wanna borrow.

Do you have a tie in black watch plaid (neck or bow)? That would be great with the purple velvet.

[MIS997]

I don’t buy into the upstaging the boss risk...my boss has an amazing plaid sport coat that he wears to our company Christmas party every year, and I’ve always envied it. Last year I got my own amazing plaid sport to wear to our Christmas party and nobody was more impressed than him. I think getting festive and buying into the fun of the event actually buys you a lot of credit with the higher ups...He’s obviously there to enjoy himself at a big event, and I think it shows support that you’re buying into the event.

That being said, why not take the purple velvet blazer and wear it with tux pants to the first party? Seems like the best of both worlds.

[tayloreuph]

Are the lapels of the velvet jacket the same as the body of the jacket or contrasting? Matching the tie to the lapel is a thought. As for the tux, if you’re wanting to be bad ass, but more subtle than the boss, a straight tie could be an option. Keeps the tux but dials back the formality, while still looking sharp. Technically a no-no, but it could work out well for all concerned. I’d go with a more formal straight tie, rather than holiday themed, as that might look more thrown together and less put together


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[DocDave]

Our Christmas party is this week. I'd say that 95% of the men will be office casual. Chinos and an OCBD or something like that. The heads guys will be in a suit and tie, and I plan on wearing one too. Not because I want to show them up or anything. Just because I think it is easier for me to wear a suit and tie. Going casual raises all sorts of questions for me. How casual is too casual? What Chinos and shirt combo is fits the mood? etc. A suit and tie just makes it simple.

Plus if the head dudes know me/remember my name, all the better. At least I hope they will remember me for all the right reasons.

[Galcobar]

If the boss' ego is fragile enough that someone else wearing a tuxedo is a problem, then it's usually also susceptible to flattery. Should you get the sense during the evening the boss feels threatened, just make a point of telling other people in his hearing how much you admired how well he dresses and that you took your cue from him.

That said, the velvet jacket could be a nice compromise. Let the texture and purple colour of the jacket be the star, and go simple black and white for everything else. It's an easy trick to take a strict, traditional tuxedo outfit and swap in the velvet jacket, especially if it has silk- or satin-faced lapels; it breaks the rules, but in a way that conveys you know what you're doing. Purple velvet is a lot of visual stimulation when it covers more than half your body, adding additional colors or patterns risks Joker comparisons.

I presume you're going to see some of the same people at both events, and purple velvet will be memorable so I can see why wearing it twice isn't ideal. In that case I'd go with the full tuxedo for Tulsa but with a festive tie and pocket square, then wear the tuxedo outfit with the velvet jacket, black bow tie (maybe velvet) and white pocket square in DC.

[hockeysc23]

Thanks all. I’ve never got the impression my boss has a fragile ego. He always sits down when in town with me. We go out for drinks etc. but best buddies but def not strangers.

The purple jacket is all one color. Wish I could justify a dinner jacket but I rarely get to use my tux as is.

Off to search for maybe a velvet bow tie for the tux to add something and looks like I’m set for the purple jacket with a simple black and white theme with that.