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  • Beach "black tie optional"

    I have an upcoming beach wedding (just attending, not my own / not in wedding party) in Mexico in 4Q of this year. I was excited to break out one of my summer suits, linen shirt, blue loafers, etc. for it. However, I've just learned that it is black tie optional (on the beach)!

    I'm never one to turn down the option (and I think a light linen suit wouldn't fit BTO anyway), but I'm having a lot of trouble with pairing a beach wedding with black tie. I actually do have a white linen-cotton blend dinner jacket that I got for my own wedding last year, which is clearly in the picture for this and I'm happy to have the opportunity to wear again so soon. My real question is, what else? Do I go find a white linen tux pant as well? (assuming I can find one that matches/coordinates). Or do I stick with black tux pants and my tux loafers and hope they don't get mucked up much with sand, etc.?

    Any thoughts on the issue would be appreciated. Obviously have some lead time, but also now is the season to purchase white tux pants or other summery accessories.

  • #2
    welp....that's an interesting combo to say the least. you're not alone in your thoughts regarding it.

    that said, anything you wear is going to get sandy.

    very sandy.

    Suitsupply has some options.

    https://us.suitsupply.com/en_US/suit.../C1351I-S.html

    https://us.suitsupply.com/en_US/suit...do/P5480I.html


    Might be worth it to pop into a store with the jacket you have in mind and see if it coordinates/matches any of their lighter-colored tux trousers on offer.



    That said, the "optional" certainly opens up options. Expect sand in your shoes no matter what.
    https://www.professorhorseyhead.com

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    • #3
      Destination wedding on a beach yet they ask black tie optional? Sounds like one of those, wedding party is wearing tuxes, you wear whatever. I think you will be fine in whatever you decide. I wore a tux to my own wedding and basically told others to come dressed however since it was a destination wedding.

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      • #4
        Black tux. Tight roll pants cuffs. Rainbow sandals. Done. [emoji6]


        Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

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        • #5
          Thanks all -- glad to see there's no consensus on this (which I also couldn't find easily while googling). My white dinner jacket has some texture to it, and is slightly off white, so the finding white pants that work might be difficult. It is SuSu, but that doesn't count for much for finding a match, since their seasonal items change out often.

          I'm likely way overthinking this, and I can just go white DJ with black tux pants. Maybe get some new loafers that are more adventurous/fun or just wear my black bit loafers (which I'd prefer to get sand in / suffer the wear by sand vs. my velvet tux loafers). Maybe take this opportunity to get a non-traditional solid black bowtie, and call it a day.


          Originally posted by JayS View Post
          Black tux. Tight roll pants cuffs. Rainbow sandals. Done. [emoji6]
          Nice -- guess I do need new footwear to meet this one!

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          • #6
            that is pretty silly. Sounds like they dont have a clue about formality / normality.

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            • #7
              Originally posted by neminat View Post
              that is pretty silly. Sounds like they dont have a clue about formality / normality.
              I was going to say this. I think they don’t know what it means when they suggested what they did. But speaking of norms I also wouldn’t wear any version of white to a wedding.

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              • #8
                Originally posted by hockeysc23 View Post
                I was going to say this. I think they don’t know what it means when they suggested what they did. But speaking of norms I also wouldn’t wear any version of white to a wedding.
                I have noticed that now that I am into dressing more intentionally, people's lack of understanding causes issues. They will claim dress codes that are more casual or more formal than they intend.

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by hockeysc23 View Post
                  I was going to say this. I think they don’t know what it means when they suggested what they did. But speaking of norms I also wouldn’t wear any version of white to a wedding.
                  I agree on that for a female attendee that white is faux pas, but for men a beach wedding that is BTO--what's the appropriate alternative? Full black tux done up the same as you'd wear in winter NYC? I can think of better ways to die. I'm sure some will do that, but I run hot and would prefer not to doom myself to a perma-sweat before the ceremony even begins. I also won't be surprised if others wear lighter colored (white, tans, etc.) linen suits as well. And everything in between.

                  Originally posted by neminat View Post
                  I have noticed that now that I am into dressing more intentionally, people's lack of understanding causes issues. They will claim dress codes that are more casual or more formal than they intend.
                  Agreed, I think this is a case of someone having 2 distinct ideas (both of which I like) and merging them in a non-normal course way. You don't want to be out of bounds, but it's hard to know what those are.

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                  • #10
                    I wouldn't be surprised if the bride and groom think of the emphasis being on "optional," but of course people like us think of the emphasis being on "black tie."

                    I'd probably just send a gift and stay home.
                    WHY ARE THE GUYS IN SUITS HERE? HAS SOMETHING GONE WRONG?

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                    • #11
                      Unfriend these plebes, go to Mexico anyway, profit.
                      Ben

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                      • #12
                        I think the alternative for that situation is to not wear black tie or the substitutes. But that’s just me you know them better than I do. I’d probably ask them what the wedding party is wearing if you know them well enough.

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                        • #13
                          I know it's a rather extreme option in current society, but perhaps try contacting the happy couple? As others have said they may not realize how contradictory the message is, and would appreciate the suggestion to clarify the matter, for all their invitees. If sartorially well-educated people such as we are confused, imagine how the average person is feeling.

                          As for black-tie traditions in hot weather, consider the Red Sea Rig. It comes from the Royal Navy, which in turn had taken a cue from India. Ditch the jacket for a red or maroon cummerbund over a pleated/Marcella shirt with a matching bow tie, and black or midnight blue tuxedo trousers. The Red Sea Rig spread from the military to be current appropriate formalwear for British and American diplomats in hot regions, primarily for locations which lack air conditioning. Navy and commercial cruise line officers usually wear a short-sleeve version.
                          Last edited by Galcobar; April 29, 2019, 10:38 PM. Reason: typo

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Galcobar View Post
                            I know it's a rather extreme option in current society, but perhaps try contacting the happy couple? As others have said they may not realize how contradictory the message is, and would appreciate the suggestion to clarify the matter, for all their invitees. If sartorially well-educated people such as we are confused, imagine how the average person is feeling.

                            As for black-tie traditions in hot weather, consider the Red Sea Rig. It comes from Royal Navy, which in turn had taken a cue from India. Ditch the jacket for a red or maroon cummerbund over a pleated/Marcella shirt with a matching bow tie, and black or midnight blue tuxedo trousers. The Red Sea Rig spread from the military to be current appropriate formalwear for British and American diplomats in hot regions, primarily for locations which lack air conditioning. Navy and commercial cruise line officers usually wear a short-sleeve version.
                            Interesting.

                            https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Red_Sea_rig
                            WHY ARE THE GUYS IN SUITS HERE? HAS SOMETHING GONE WRONG?

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                            • #15
                              I'm going to take a contrary position: anything that requires being anything other than barefoot, or *maybe* flip flops on an actual sand beach is "too formal." So once you're requiring shoes of any sort, the top, why not have it be formal? And I don't see how sand is going to be any more a problem for a tux than for any other clothes.

                              I get the heat issue, but this applies to summer weddings just about anywhere in the US.

                              And I get wanting to be married right by the ocean. Sounds amazing.

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