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Beach "black tie optional"

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  • Kurps
    replied
    Depending on the quality of the sand I actually think BTO with no shoes is a pretty cool mix during the ceremony. Then you clean off your feet and thrown on shoes for the reception.

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  • neminat
    replied
    Originally posted by Kurps View Post
    I envision myself spending the entire ceremony looking around at other guests furious they are underdressed and more comfortable than me, then drinking too much at the open bar to compensate.
    this would absolutely be me. I would be furious.

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  • Nandyn
    replied
    Originally posted by aps2012 View Post
    Agreed. But this is not a problem created by a BTO dress code. Its a problem created by asking people to wear shoes to your wedding on the beach.
    The dark side knows no reason. Only passion.

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  • aps2012
    replied
    Originally posted by Nandyn View Post
    Agreed. But this is not a problem created by a BTO dress code. Its a problem created by asking people to wear shoes to your wedding on the beach.

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  • Nandyn
    replied
    Originally posted by aps2012 View Post
    Back again to ask why having sand beneath your shoes makes such a difference?
    Originally posted by hockeysc23 View Post
    Because the sand gets in the shoes not just beneath them

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  • hockeysc23
    replied
    Because the sand gets in the shoes not just beneath them

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  • Alex.C
    replied
    Originally posted by Kurps View Post
    I envision myself spending the entire ceremony looking around at other guests furious they are underdressed and more comfortable than me, then drinking too much at the open bar to compensate.
    This used to be me at every wedding, regardless of setting, until I learned to calm down.

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  • aps2012
    replied
    Back again to ask why having sand beneath your shoes makes such a difference? I understand concerns about weather and heat, but those concerns apply to all those summer outdoor weddings in the US on converted farms. And no one is up in arms about that. Here you may actually have a cooling sea breeze and don't have to stare at cliched "vintage" barns and shiplap everything in 85 and 90% humidity at 10pm in Tennesee.
    [MENTION=11291]Kurps[/MENTION] comment is not beach specific and is what everyone thinks about all of us when they see us in a blazer and leather shoes when they're in sweatpants and sneakers...
    [MENTION=11238]lax101[/MENTION] is probbaly right that this is mainly to keep the three button open linen shirts to a minimum. And I think its a better option than saying "Suit and Tie. And we mean it."

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  • Nandyn
    replied
    Originally posted by hornsup84 View Post
    Thanks for the input. It's still an interesting one to me, as the bride/groom are from good families, from tri-state area, def know black tie, etc., so it isn't a situation where they don't know what they're asking. In fact, the response my wife got was that they understood it. It is their wedding, so I am wanting to honor their wishes for attire appropriately. Just trying to figure out how best to do it! (and not die of heartstroke / still look dapper without being overly dandy)



    This is most certainly what will occur, so long as you mix in a bit of contempt and self-aggrandizement.
    What about that grey Bonobos tux on the dappered front page deals post?

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  • hornsup84
    replied
    Originally posted by lax101 View Post
    I have gone to a black tie optional beach wedding. It was awfully stupid.

    The ceremony was also on the beach itself, and then the reception was indoors, just a few yards away at the resort's reception hall. I assume this was offered as part of some destination wedding package, similar to what you'll be doing.

    I actually asked the groom about it, and he said that they made it "black tie optional" to deter the guests from wearing hawaiian shirts and flip flops at the wedding. They didn't want the wedding photos to look like the guests were at a summer BBQ. Might be the same rationale that the bridge and groom at your upcoming wedding are thinking.

    Ultimately, almost everyone wore full suits (albeit in lighter colors, like heather grays, medium/royal blues, etc.), and only the immediate family members and wedding party opted for tuxes. I did the same (wearing a suit), and it looked fine.

    I am the kind of guy that will 99% of the time wear a tux if it's "black tie optional" (I bought one, so why not?), but I couldn't bring myself to wear a tux on the beach. It seemed stupid, and I thought it would be way too hot to wear one. Also, given the age range of most of the guests at this wedding (late 20s to early 30s), I thought that only half of the guests would wear a tux at any black tie optional wedding, and probably a fraction of that half would wear a tux given the weather.

    All in all, I think I made the right choice with what I wore (a lighter colored wool suit), and I, like you, spent way too much time thinking about it.
    Thanks for the input. It's still an interesting one to me, as the bride/groom are from good families, from tri-state area, def know black tie, etc., so it isn't a situation where they don't know what they're asking. In fact, the response my wife got was that they understood it. It is their wedding, so I am wanting to honor their wishes for attire appropriately. Just trying to figure out how best to do it! (and not die of heartstroke / still look dapper without being overly dandy)

    Originally posted by Kurps View Post
    I envision myself spending the entire ceremony looking around at other guests furious they are underdressed and more comfortable than me, then drinking too much at the open bar to compensate.
    This is most certainly what will occur, so long as you mix in a bit of contempt and self-aggrandizement.

    Leave a comment:


  • Kurps
    replied
    I envision myself spending the entire ceremony looking around at other guests furious they are underdressed and more comfortable than me, then drinking too much at the open bar to compensate.

    Leave a comment:


  • lax101
    replied
    I have gone to a black tie optional beach wedding. It was awfully stupid.

    The ceremony was also on the beach itself, and then the reception was indoors, just a few yards away at the resort's reception hall. I assume this was offered as part of some destination wedding package, similar to what you'll be doing.

    I actually asked the groom about it, and he said that they made it "black tie optional" to deter the guests from wearing hawaiian shirts and flip flops at the wedding. They didn't want the wedding photos to look like the guests were at a summer BBQ. Might be the same rationale that the bridge and groom at your upcoming wedding are thinking.

    Ultimately, almost everyone wore full suits (albeit in lighter colors, like heather grays, medium/royal blues, etc.), and only the immediate family members and wedding party opted for tuxes. I did the same (wearing a suit), and it looked fine.

    I am the kind of guy that will 99% of the time wear a tux if it's "black tie optional" (I bought one, so why not?), but I couldn't bring myself to wear a tux on the beach. It seemed stupid, and I thought it would be way too hot to wear one. Also, given the age range of most of the guests at this wedding (late 20s to early 30s), I thought that only half of the guests would wear a tux at any black tie optional wedding, and probably a fraction of that half would wear a tux given the weather.

    All in all, I think I made the right choice with what I wore (a lighter colored wool suit), and I, like you, spent way too much time thinking about it.

    Leave a comment:


  • Nandyn
    replied
    Originally posted by Domino View Post
    Lean into the beach part, and get yourself a pair of patent leather (cause it's a tux) Vibram Five Finger "shoes."
    I love the last part. I actually have several pairs of 5 fingers and used to wear them all the time (not just for running) when I used to run a lot. Super comfortable for my wide, flat feet. Now I only wear them when I'm working out, running, or hiking.

    If only regular shoes could be feet shaped and still look good.

    Leave a comment:


  • Dun
    replied
    Shoot, I'd go a step further and wear a white linen, or seersucker, shirt underneath. There are going to be two groups of people there: those that dress up for it and are uncomfortable, and those that dress for the weather. I'd try to land in the middle while still looking good if you end up in any photographs. No one will care about in-person wrinkles, and the camera won't immortalize those kinds of details anyway.

    Also, what time of day is this?

    I've done a bit of fancy wedding videography in southern california, not as tropical as mexico, but you do get ocean breeze. So dressing up but letting air in helps. Leave your sleeves unbottoned.

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  • Domino
    replied
    Lean into the beach part, and get yourself a pair of patent leather (cause it's a tux) Vibram Five Finger "shoes."

    Leave a comment:

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