Just getting into mens fashion....trying to find my "style". I'm wasting money. Help

[utopify]

Situation: Same height/weight/build as Daniel Craig, but not near as handsome or wealthy. 40 years old, and just realizing that cargo pants and worn out polos are doing me no good. Started dating again four years ago and over the last four years my (now fiance), from NYC has helped me get going. I literally threw every piece of clothing I had in the trash/goodwill and started buying things. Expensive things. I have some nice pieces, but no style.

Problem: I love the looks of hollywood actors street style (grunge with that dash of killer style that somehow they pull off), but I have a conflicting business casual workplace to do that daily. So what I've been doing is failing moron look on the weekends, with peter preppy fails at work. Either wrong shoes, wrong trouser/top combo....or my fiance saying "that doesn't work". I've read style blogs like this one, fashionbeans, etc... but here's what I do. "OOoo I love that cardigan..." I buy it....and then it sits in my closet because I don't know how to wear it. I've spent thousands....wasted or not, im not sure.

Help: I want to start over again (without throwing anything away), starting with a good shoe, boots, and work my way to the top. I'm sorry if this offends anyone, but I read/watched gentleman's gazette and was like WTF is this? Baggy ass shit, pimp looking mobster from the 20's? Is that in?

I'm lost in the sauce. I need a friend in the diam.....style business.

[Jrbrownie00]

There's some really good look books and such available on reddit and there are plenty of sites (including my favorite, Dappered) that have outfit guides. Try to find some of those and tweek the looks based off pieces you own. I do this often.

I typically won't buy something unless I already have pieces I can wear it with or I have a specific use in mind. This will save you A LOT of money. You also do not have to have one "style" to be stylish. Fit and confidence project much better than any specific piece of clothing.

[hornsup84]

I had honestly never heard or read Gentleman's Gazette and had to google. Seems popular, but also a bit over the top--especially if you aren't going for a 'dandy' look.

I'd recommend stopping the cycle of quick buying first and foremost. Like you've experienced, it's a great way to spend a ton of money and potentially still not feel like you've found your own style. First step might be reading through some of the Dappered main site's articles. It'll let you get a sense of what the "Dappered" style is. Each style website will have biases from its owner/editor/writers, so it's good to know those and take it into account when looking for advice. Generally I'd said that Dappered is relatively casual, less slick/street/hollywood style. As such, you'll want to weigh that vs. what you think you want to do with your style.

In addition to Dappered, which I'd say is my most read site, some other sites that I've found helpful, even if I don't always agree with their particular takes, etc.:

MensStylePro -- Sabir is cool and has a great personal style
Style Girlfriend -- Has become a little more urban/young/trendy as its grown
EffortlessGent -- Barron has a focus on a lean wardrobe which is nice, and focuses on having things in your wardrobe work together

None of the above really fit my personal style exactly, but I can draw things I like and don't like from each... whether it's broad concepts or specific pieces/looks.

Hope this helps

[JBarwick]

I feel like the Dappered main page is a great pace to start getting ideas. Specifically the "Style Scenarios" Joe puts together. It is really a mix and match but give you an idea of what works together and how to wear the same article of clothing in different ways.

https://dappered.com/tag/style-scenario/

[ianr]

I would suggest getting more feedback. Perhaps try to seek feedback from people other than your SO. If you feel especially brave, post your fit pics on the Internet. Usually, conscious style just needs minor tweaks, not a complete reinvention.

Sent from my SM-N910V using Tapatalk

[mark4]

I doubt all that money is wasted. It sounds like you have the pieces, or at least some of them, for business casual (preppy), and an edgier off duty look but are trying to mix the two with unsuccessful results. If the workplace doesn't allow for "edgy" then I would stick everyday business or business casual attire top to bottom - chinos or cords, woven shirt with a collar (oxford cloth, poplin, twill, doesn't really matter which) suede or leather chukkas or oxfords/derbys. A cardigan or pullover sweater would look fine with that on any cold day. If you trust your GF's style sense you could have her go through your closet and outfit you top to bottom until you get the hang of it.

Hollywood looks are kind of hard to pull off in real life...they can get away with stuff that makes mere mortals look like they are trying too hard. Good for inspiration to a point but you have to know when something is over the top rather than just toeing that line.

[utopify]

Sounds advice everyone. Thanks a million. I'm off to review the sites/recommendations.

[mark4]

Another suggestion to help you use what you already have - look for looks that incorporate those pieces (as many as possible) and they buy some stuff that looks like what's needed to complete the looks you find online. So if you have the shirt, sweater and shoes but are missing the pants, buy those pants or a comparable pair and you have the look completed without buying everything.

[utopify]

I doubt all that money is wasted. It sounds like you have the pieces, or at least some of them, for business casual (preppy), and an edgier off duty look but are trying to mix the two with unsuccessful results. If the workplace doesn't allow for "edgy" then I would stick everyday business or business casual attire top to bottom - chinos or cords, woven shirt with a collar (oxford cloth, poplin, twill, doesn't really matter which) suede or leather chukkas or oxfords/derbys. A cardigan or pullover sweater would look fine with that on any cold day. If you trust your GF's style sense you could have her go through your closet and outfit you top to bottom until you get the hang of it.

Hollywood looks are kind of hard to pull off in real life...they can get away with stuff that makes mere mortals look like they are trying too hard. Good for inspiration to a point but you have to know when something is over the top rather than just toeing that line.

I love it. Excellent points, and you are spot on....I think I'm blending two fashions (edgy and business). I can get away with just about anything at work....as the rules are "no denim"...that's it.

[hockeysc23]

In addition to the sound advice above the first thing that I took away is it seems you’re trying to pull off a style out of work that may look good for celebs or in magazines but not everyday.

In my opinion this site helps provide advice on getting a solid base for a well put together classic look that seems would work in your business. Then based on pieces you have and inspiration you can start to tweak that to get the look you are aiming for. Sort of creating a solid base from which to expand upon. Aka get great fitting base items but through a chunky sweater under a nice sport coat etc.

[drocpsu]

I'd have to go back and find them, but I know that Joe has posted some good "intro to dressing better" type articles on the main page, which talk about things to really focus on (foundational but flexible pieces of clothing), and working out from there, and the like. The one thing I would say is that you might want to ease into your transition. If you're used to wearing worn out cargo pants and polos, then making the jump straight into wearing multiple layers, etc. Aside from not knowing which things to combine, etc, it might just feel uncomfortable, almost like you're trying to play dress-up. Like others have said, it's easier to start simple and get comfortable with it, then branch out. for example, maybe just finding some well-fitting chinos and oxford button-downs is a good starting point, then get a basic sweater or blazer to throw over it. If you like the look, then you might be willing to branch out a different type of sweater (like a cardigan or shawl/mock neck, or the like), or different blazer materials. Once you feel comfortable with something, it gets easier to know whether or not a different piece of clothing would "work" for you.

[DocDave]

Taking the suggestions in a slightly different direction, I suggest taking Instagram for a spin. There are some great feeds/posters who put together outfits and I find myself referencing those looks/outfits frequently. More often than not, the styles are not super expensive and I'm able to pull the looks together using what I already have in my closet. And for those items that I don't have, but still want to create the look, I can usually pick them up affordably from the Gap or BR or JC or etc.

Sticking with the Instagram idea, I know there was a thread recently were users listed some of the feeds they follow. Unfortunately I don't recall what that thread was. I'm sure using the search function of the forums though will take you to it.

Hope this helps.

[bassopotamus]

I think the main Dappered site is pretty darn solid as a starting place. Good looks that are neither too fussy nor too expensive, and are relatively classic, so they should work for quite a while. Really, a nicer pair of jeans, couple pairs of chinos, a few decent shirts, and a nice pair of boots would probably get the OP 95% of the way there for both looks.

[Fantasma]

Taking the suggestions in a slightly different direction, I suggest taking Instagram for a spin. There are some great feeds/posters who put together outfits and I find myself referencing those looks/outfits frequently. More often than not, the styles are not super expensive and I'm able to pull the looks together using what I already have in my closet. And for those items that I don't have, but still want to create the look, I can usually pick them up affordably from the Gap or BR or JC or etc.

Sticking with the Instagram idea, I know there was a thread recently were users listed some of the feeds they follow. Unfortunately I don't recall what that thread was. I'm sure using the search function of the forums though will take you to it.

Hope this helps.

Replying to DocDave's suggestion, I think the thread he's referring to is this one: https://threads.dappered.com/showthr...-others-bored/

[utopify]

excellent - thank you. I'm finding look books are helping. One thing I have noticed however, regarding instagram/fashionbeans, etc.. is that it is hard to tell the materials. Case in point, I made the mistake of trying to go casual with a dress shirt (heavier dress shirt, pressed...instead of a looser poplin or oxford?). Nothing irritates me more then when I try to mimic look books....but make some cardinal sin.