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    #16
    Originally posted by Geo View Post
    I can't begin to explain you how jealous I am. I've been pitching this approach to my fiance for months with no success. She is dead set on having all of my groomsmen wearing the same suits. My sister got married earlier this year and all of her bridesmaids wore different dresses in the same color range. It looked great. But us guys had to buy the same crappy navy suits from mens wearhouse. I wasn't thrilled and it looked hokey. The last thing I want is for my buddies to go through that. You're lucky. Good luck and congrats.
    I think this concept requires a little bit of style finesse to understand. Typically, American men's wedding style is extremely "Disney" with exactly matching ties and pocket squares. I figure if the idea is to match and also be stylish, it should be tuxedos with the same boutonniere. Matching informal suits looks to me like we're about to watch some sort of team powerpoint pitch.

    That's just my opinion... I told my own groomsmen to wear whatever they felt comfortable in. It ended up being several different shades of informal suits. The group photos looked fine. Nobody had to spend $149.95 on a polyester suit they were never going to wear again.

    Sent from my SM-N910V using Tapatalk

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      #17
      Originally posted by Michael Kenny View Post
      I bought all my groomsman Ties, Pocket Squares, and tie bars from The Tie Bar for that exact reason.
      Yeah, I did this too. The Tie Bar was perfect for this.

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        #18
        Originally posted by ianr View Post
        Matching informal suits looks to me like we're about to watch some sort of team powerpoint pitch.
        Matching informal suits says:
        1. we don't trust our party to dress right - they're too immature, etc to own decent clothes or decide on their own
        2. someone is willing to spend more for the special day.

        I guess the second one is important, but to me a bunch of guys who look capable on their own is a winning collective look.

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          #19
          Originally posted by JT10000 View Post
          Matching informal suits says:
          1. we don't trust our party to dress right - they're too immature, etc to own decent clothes or decide on their own
          2. someone is willing to spend more for the special day.

          I guess the second one is important, but to me a bunch of guys who look capable on their own is a winning collective look.
          I agree with your last statement but I think you assume that more people know or care how they dress as much as we do on this forum. This last summer I attended a wedding with a church ceremony. Several guests wore sneakers. Another guest wore jeans. Earlier this year I went to a funeral and a guy was wearing track pants. My brother in law had to dictate to his groomsmen what to wear and once I met some of his buddies I completely understood why.

          I'd like to think I can trust my groomsmen to wear a navy suit but all it takes is one guy to show up in a bright blue suit and you have a wife that will never let you live it down.

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            #20
            Originally posted by Geo View Post
            I agree with your last statement but I think you assume that more people know or care how they dress as much as we do on this forum. This last summer I attended a wedding with a church ceremony. Several guests wore sneakers. Another guest wore jeans. Earlier this year I went to a funeral and a guy was wearing track pants. My brother in law had to dictate to his groomsmen what to wear and once I met some of his buddies I completely understood why.

            I'd like to think I can trust my groomsmen to wear a navy suit but all it takes is one guy to show up in a bright blue suit and you have a wife that will never let you live it down.
            I think you can advise your groomsmen, as opposed to just dictating. Either by giving your groomsmen options or exercising a veto over their choices.
            Originally posted by JT10000 View Post
            Matching informal suits says:
            1. we don't trust our party to dress right - they're too immature, etc to own decent clothes or decide on their own
            2. someone is willing to spend more for the special day.

            I guess the second one is important, but to me a bunch of guys who look capable on their own is a winning collective look.
            I think that some people, probably not people in your social circle, view a matching bridal party as traditional and almost as important as a bride in white.

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              #21
              Originally posted by ryn View Post
              I think that some people, probably not people in your social circle, view a matching bridal party as traditional and almost as important as a bride in white.
              Absolutely. The traditions have different timeframes, though.

              The white dress thing was started by Queen Victoria in 1840. This didn't catch on among British or American weddings until the mid-20th Century. You can look at older American wedding pictures to find that brides pretty much wore whatever color. Thus, when talking about the tradition of the white wedding, it is a very recent tradition.

              Dressing similarly is much older; this was a Roman thing to fool ghosts. It evolved with the same superstitions Romans had with calendars. Calendar superstitions are why certain months are considered ideal for weddings and certain months are considered bad luck. Traditions like this are hundreds to thousands of years old.

              As nice as it would be to be able to say you don't believe in ghosts or copying Queen Victoria, I would agree many people see these aspects as "the way it is done."

              Sent from my SM-N910V using Tapatalk

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                #22
                Originally posted by ianr View Post
                Absolutely. The traditions have different timeframes, though.

                The white dress thing was started by Queen Victoria in 1840. This didn't catch on among British or American weddings until the mid-20th Century. You can look at older American wedding pictures to find that brides pretty much wore whatever color. Thus, when talking about the tradition of the white wedding, it is a very recent tradition.

                Dressing similarly is much older; this was a Roman thing to fool ghosts. It evolved with the same superstitions Romans had with calendars. Calendar superstitions are why certain months are considered ideal for weddings and certain months are considered bad luck. Traditions like this are hundreds to thousands of years old.

                As nice as it would be to be able to say you don't believe in ghosts or copying Queen Victoria, I would agree many people see these aspects as "the way it is done."

                Sent from my SM-N910V using Tapatalk
                I don't buy that Roman story, I know it is often repeated. Even if it is true for ancient Rome, it wasn't continuous. In Victorian times, the wealthy wore formal dress, which was by nature very similar, but only for the men.

                The poor didn't marry and everyone else just wore their best suit.

                The current tend has probably to do with rental tuxes and the introduction of color to formalwear.

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                  #23
                  Originally posted by ianr View Post
                  Dressing similarly is much older; this was a Roman thing to fool ghosts.
                  I find it hard to believe that this Roman thing is the origin of any sort of traditions on clothes now. But in any case, dressing similarly is not the same as dressing identically.

                  Originally posted by ryn View Post
                  The current tend has probably to do with rental tuxes and the introduction of color to formalwear.
                  Yup. Like the traditions on the diamond engagement ring. https://www.theatlantic.com/internat...t-ring/385376/

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                    #24
                    Originally posted by ryn View Post
                    I don't buy that Roman story, I know it is often repeated. Even if it is true for ancient Rome, it wasn't continuous. In Victorian times, the wealthy wore formal dress, which was by nature very similar, but only for the men.

                    The poor didn't marry and everyone else just wore their best suit.

                    The current tend has probably to do with rental tuxes and the introduction of color to formalwear.
                    Thanks for doubting. I looked it up and some sources claim it is a Druid custom. The same claim is made about the veil. I will look into this further before I comment on it again.

                    My main point was people do think of this stuff as the way it should be and always has even if the white dress hasn't even been a trend for a full century.

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                      #25
                      Good Lord, at least this is one realm in which it's easier to be gay. My husband and I just wore or purchased good summer suits for our wedding (which suit I still wear to work six years later) and told our "best people" to just dress nice. They were SUPER appreciative, particularly the one who's a woman; she was THRILLED she got to choose her wedding outfit.

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                        #26
                        Originally posted by ianr View Post
                        My main point was people do think of this stuff as the way it should be and always has even if the white dress hasn't even been a trend for a full century.
                        And my point is it hasn't always been like that, and I'd appreciate your not going around claiming it has. People can do what they like. But repeating myths is not good.

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                          #27
                          Originally posted by JT10000 View Post
                          And my point is it hasn't always been like that, and I'd appreciate your not going around claiming it has. People can do what they like. But repeating myths is not good.
                          It does appear to be a myth. The sources cite various cultures: Druid, Roman, Chinese. I am sorry for repeating unsubstantiated information.

                          I did look into the evolution of known wedding dress customs for groomsmen and bridesmaids. I found some books with relevant descriptions.

                          "The Etiquette of Courtship and Matrimony: with a Complete Guide to the Forms of a Wedding" 1852
                          https://books.google.com/books?id=P8hYAAAAcAAJ

                          Pages 66-69 describe wedding attire.

                          Groomsman attire is not described in any specific pattern, just as nice

                          "The dress of the bridesgroomsman should be light and elegant; a dress coat should be worn"

                          Bridesmaids are described as dressed either in pairs or all the same.

                          "The bridesmaids dress generally in pairs, each two alike, but sometimes all wear a similar costume."

                          I also found interesting the description of what a bride and groom should wear. The advice for the bride clearly followed the precedent set by Queen Victoria 12 years prior.

                          "A bride's costume should be white, or as close as possible to it. Fawn colour, grey, and lavender are entirely out of fashion."

                          The groom's advice is equally strong.

                          "It is no longer in good taste for a gentleman to be married in a black coat; a blue coat, light grey trousers, white satin or silk waistcoat, ornamental tie, and white (not primrose-coloured) gloves form the usual costume of a bridegroom according to present usage."



                          "Wedding Ettiquette and Usages of Polite Society" 1879
                          https://books.google.com/books?id=4FcEAAAAYAAJ

                          This book has a different description from that published 27 years prior.

                          "Day weddings
                          Groom and best man, cutaway Prince Albert coat, light trousers, black vest. Ushers, same coat and vest, dark trousers."

                          Evening weddings
                          Fine twilled black corkscrew, or black Thibit dress coat, silk faced to button-holes, edges bound narrow; vest same material, embroidered, or heavy white silk or satin, embroidered; trousers same material as coat with silk braid down the side. Groom, best man, and ushers all alike."


                          "Twenieth Century Etiquette" 1901
                          https://books.google.com/books?id=Tc46AQAAMAAJ

                          On page 274, this book shows a slight change in bridesmaid dress etiquette

                          "White is the accepted dress for bridesmaids, but they are not limited to this. They can select light and delicate colors, showing care that everything harmonizes."


                          I suppose this could all be a separate thread. It seems that the whole matching custom may vary depending on what decade it is. The only thing that seems consistent is since Queen Victoria has put white into fashion, it has remained.

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                            #28
                            Not the best picture in the world but here are my Groomsmen and I just before the wedding (I have the three piece on). Even though none of the suits, ties, pocket squares, or shoes are identical you would be hard pressed to really notice that. Once I get the actually photographer pictures you can see the differences but it worked so well. Lots of compliments.

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                              #29
                              Originally posted by Michael Kenny View Post
                              Not the best picture in the world but here are my Groomsmen and I just before the wedding (I have the three piece on). Even though none of the suits, ties, pocket squares, or shoes are identical you would be hard pressed to really notice that. Once I get the actually photographer pictures you can see the differences but it worked so well. Lots of compliments.
                              Love it. Mind if I use this picture as an example to show my finance? What color suit did you ask your groomsmen to wear? Are those Navy or a brighter blue?

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                                #30
                                Originally posted by Geo View Post
                                Love it. Mind if I use this picture as an example to show my finance? What color suit did you ask your groomsmen to wear? Are those Navy or a brighter blue?
                                Sure thing! Like I said I will get some more with the whole bridal party by a much better photographer soon lol I asked the guys to go Navy but prefered if they went on the lighter side of it. My suit is made out of a gorgeous High Blue fabric from Dormeuil so I had them all look at my color swatch prior to anyone buying anything. Some of the suits are solid, some have subtle patterns.. it all just worked. I think from left to right we have a Ted Baker from the Rack, a Suit Supply Napoli, A suit from Dillards, Mine is a custom from Hickey Freeman, and I am not sure about my bestman's all the way to the right but nothing fancy or anything.

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