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    #61
    Originally posted by 3piece View Post
    Wow, didn't know every one in the wedding party pay their own. That's kind of mean. I like the idea everyone wear their own grey suit, and the groom offers to pay for rental or a new suit if anyone doesn't have one.

    Depends on your social circle, I guess.
    Not sure if you were responding to my reply but I guess what I should've mentioned is I know they already own a grey suit of their own.

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      #62
      Originally posted by 3piece View Post
      Wow, didn't know every one in the wedding party pay their own. That's kind of mean. I like the idea everyone wear their own grey suit, and the groom offers to pay for rental or a new suit if anyone doesn't have one.

      Depends on your social circle, I guess.
      I've never been in a wedding where the groom paid for the groomsmen's tuxes, nor did I pay for my best man's tux (he was my only groomsman). I don't think it's at all typical for groomsmen to have their tuxes/suits paid for by the groom. Bridesmaids also buy their own dresses typically and are expected/required to buy the dress the bride chooses for them.

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        #63
        Originally posted by dpark View Post
        I've never been in a wedding where the groom paid for the groomsmen's tuxes, nor did I pay for my best man's tux (he was my only groomsman). I don't think it's at all typical for groomsmen to have their tuxes/suits paid for by the groom. Bridesmaids also buy their own dresses typically and are expected/required to buy the dress the bride chooses for them.
        My groomsmen paid for their tuxes. I've always felt a little guilty about that even though it seems to be accepted practice. One of several reasons I wish that I let my groomsmen just wear suits. Another reason being that I've since found myself gravitating towards wedding pictures where the wedding party was wearing different (but coordinated) suits and dresses. Of course, this kind of requires your fiancee to be comfortable with her bridesmaids wearing different dresses.

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          #64
          Originally posted by onerany View Post
          My groomsmen paid for their tuxes. I've always felt a little guilty about that even though it seems to be accepted practice. One of several reasons I wish that I let my groomsmen just wear suits. Another reason being that I've since found myself gravitating towards wedding pictures where the wedding party was wearing different (but coordinated) suits and dresses. Of course, this kind of requires your fiancee to be comfortable with her bridesmaids wearing different dresses.
          I think bridesmaids consistently look better when they choose different (but coordinating) dresses. When they match, the chosen dress is always a horrible compromise and looks good on no one (and is often a horrible color, but that's entirely the bride's fault). Bridesmaids in non-matched black/navy/etc dresses look better because they can choose a dress that flatters them and that they are comfortable in. And if the color is sane, they can actually use the dress again, as opposed to the shiny chartreuse monstrosities than sit in the closet for 4 years and then get donated. Allowing coordinating dresses also pushes the color choice into the sane region, since you can't reasonably expect bridesmaids to find the same ugly green in different dresses.

          I've never actually been to a wedding where the groomsmen did something equivalent, though I suspect the end result is a lot nicer looking than matched boxy rentals. And a lot more cost effective if they actually need a navy/gray suit again.

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            #65
            Originally posted by dpark View Post
            I think bridesmaids consistently look better when they choose different (but coordinating) dresses. When they match, the chosen dress is always a horrible compromise and looks good on no one (and is often a horrible color, but that's entirely the bride's fault). Bridesmaids in non-matched black/navy/etc dresses look better because they can choose a dress that flatters them and that they are comfortable in. And if the color is sane, they can actually use the dress again, as opposed to the shiny chartreuse monstrosities than sit in the closet for 4 years and then get donated. Allowing coordinating dresses also pushes the color choice into the sane region, since you can't reasonably expect bridesmaids to find the same ugly green in different dresses.

            I've never actually been to a wedding where the groomsmen did something equivalent, though I suspect the end result is a lot nicer looking than matched boxy rentals. And a lot more cost effective if they actually need a navy/gray suit again.
            Sounds like [MENTION=2724]onerany[/MENTION] didn't need convincing -- but good luck convincing a bride who is set on matching dresses (or a color, etc.) that she's wrong. ha! From my experience, a vast majority of bridesmaids dresses are not wearable in other contexts, even if they're a reasonable color. I think it's kind of a lost cause overall.

            I've unfortunately been part of a few matching suits for groomsmen weddings, none of which have purchased the suit for them. Most I've worn a handful of times after (being MW/JAB cheapos that honestly don't hold up well and/or fit well). I'd be curious to see how a "you all can wear X color suits" goes, given that suit coloring is so varied... medium grey, for example, is a wide range from light to dark medium, and then you have to factor in type of wool, patterns, etc.

            My favorite weddings have been where everyone is told to wear black tuxes, but you're allowed to wear your own or (if you don't have one or find it easier) you can rent a suggested one. We were told to have wing collar / pleated shirts, black bow tie and cummerbund, but the details/rest was left to us. I thought that was nice/ideal, as it plays to a tux's strength (i.e., men dressing uniformly) and looks great in pictures without requiring guys to buy stuff they'll never wear again. Seems like a no-brainer if you're into the all tux look--which I am, personally.

            If I am stuck getting matching suits (hopefully not the case, but who knows), I would consider getting the suits for my groomsmen as my gift and I'd go with suits that are wearable in real life (i.e., no weird colors, no grey tux with black accents). Obviously if I'm told I need to match in number a dozen bridesmaids, I might rethink, so YMMV, but with a reasonable/small number of groomsmen, I don't think it's crazy and would be a nice gesture as it takes away the one part that really sucks from being a groomsman. If I wind up with tuxes, I'd probably get cufflinks or tie/cummerbund for the guys.

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              #66
              [MENTION=2622]hornsup84[/MENTION], I've seen bridesmaids in dresses that they could wear again, but only when the bride said "just pick a black dress" or something equivalent. No one actually buys a "bridesmaid" dress then. They buy a nice dress in the right color that is wedding appropriate, which means it's appropriate for other formal-ish events. "Bridesmaid" dresses are generally so clearly intended for bridesmaids that they can't be worn elsewhere. Maybe a "bridesmaid" dress could be worn to a prom, where everyone else is wearing tacky dresses, but the set of bridesmaids young enough to be going to a high-school prom later is pretty small.

              If I were getting married (rather unlikely since I'm already married and not a polygamist), I'd probably do the "just wear a black tux" thing. Alternatively I might just ask for dark navy suits. "Mid-gray" is a difficult one because, as you noted, many shades are considered "mid-gray". I don't think coordinating navy suits would be that hard, though. They wouldn't match perfectly, due to the texture etc that you called out, but close enough. The tuxes wouldn't match perfectly either, and that's also okay.
              Last edited by dpark; April 13, 2016, 07:46 PM. Reason: typo

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                #67
                Originally posted by JT10000 View Post
                So nice of friends to get their friends to burn money in a deluded sense of making the special day even more special.
                Pretty much. I may just be complaining a touch since I (and everyone else on this board) are so adamant to look our best in any situation. We all have been best friends for 10+ years and I am honored to be chosen as a best man. Anyways, I thought it would be much better for everyone to get matching navy/grey Thompsons the last JCF sale where they dipped to the low $200s. It would look better than a tux rental and would get much more usage post wedding. Were all relatively young (mid 20s) and most of the gromsmen are blue collar workers and do not own a suit to begin with. Just made more sense to me; We'd all look better and they'd have a suit to wear after the wedding.

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                  #68
                  If my fiance was wanting uniforms for the wedding party here's how I'd try to argue that not matching looks better: showing a bunch of photos of great-looking wedding parties where people are not all matched. And pointing out that people looking great in their own clothes projects a sense of "high class" because it's more clear that participants are capable of dressing well on their own and aren't in costumes bought just for the occasion.

                  In fact, include in the photos from some super fancy events - like weddings of very wealthy people. And point out that it's entirely possible in those situations for the wedding parties to have perfectly tailored identical clothes but still do not, because it doesn't look as good.


                  Uniforms (100% identical) are for the military, sports, school and certain types of jobs. Not pleasure.

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                    #69
                    The wedding is all about the bride. If it was up to most guy me included it would be quick, simple, and cheap but modern society teaches girls from a young age that they need a big fancy wedding. Some girls choose not to do this and are perfectly happy. With this in-mind I let my fiancée plan the wedding she wants mostly because I rather she be happy then me be right. Most of my groomsmen understand this and went through the same process when they got married. They don't mind too much spending/wasting money on a rentals.

                    This is just my opinion and your millage my vary. My goal is to get married and start my life with my bride not to be groom at my wedding.

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                      #70
                      Originally posted by Leon Shapiro View Post
                      The wedding is all about the bride. If it was up to most guy me included it would be quick, simple, and cheap but modern society teaches girls from a young age that they need a big fancy wedding. Some girls choose not to do this and are perfectly happy. With this in-mind I let my fiancée plan the wedding she wants mostly because I rather she be happy then me be right. Most of my groomsmen understand this and went through the same process when they got married. They don't mind too much spending/wasting money on a rentals.

                      This is just my opinion and your millage my vary. My goal is to get married and start my life with my bride not to be groom at my wedding.
                      I think that's a terrible way to look at it. The wedding is not all about the bride. It's about celebrating both of you, together. It's a celebration of two families joining. Don't lump "most guys" into it. There's nothing about "being right" in choosing the outfits the wedding party wears. It's about compromise and open communication.

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