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  • #16
    Originally posted by JBarwick View Post
    One place where my wife and I differ on mental health is the idea of Happiness. My wife has a "goal" of some sort of happiness and she is always striving towards it. But I mean say you hit that goal, shouldn't there be something beyond that to stretch towards? My differing view is to be content with what you have. This has allowed me to brush a lot of things off that previously bothered me.
    I'm with you and science is as well. Not necessarily being "content" with what you have, but appreciating it, having gratitude for it. Some type of gratitude practice can really help most people.

    https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/b...fits-gratitude

    One of the biggest signs of depression is not taking care of yourself. My being put together with clothes and grooming is an outward sign that I'm operating on all cylinders.
    [MENTION=13399]DocDave[/MENTION] mentioned meditation - if you really want to start from zero, there are some great starter meditations at the UCLA Mindful Awareness Research Center. Try the 5 minute breathing one to start. If you have the free "insight timer" app, 3 or 4 of these are found there as well. Stay with the "mindfulness" ones until you learn more about it.

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    • #17
      Originally posted by carlitos View Post
      I'm with you and science is as well. Not necessarily being "content" with what you have, but appreciating it, having gratitude for it. Some type of gratitude practice can really help most people.

      https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/b...fits-gratitude
      Its a fine line with being happy with what you have and settling for whats available. For me I boil it down to the old adage "is the juice worth the squeeze?" and go from there. Killing yourself to obtain something that is potentially unattainable is a tough scenario.

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      • #18
        I read an article - and for the life of me I can't find it - that talked about how technology is have a HUGELY negative impact on our lives.

        People are seeing all these great lives on Instagram/Facebook and it is causing them to be depressed. They want the nice cars, the trips, the Botox injections. And when they can't afford it, or see that their life isn't as glamorous, depression sets in. Just as [MENTION=12021]idvsego[/MENTION] and [MENTION=15867]carlitos[/MENTION] say, it's important to be happy with what you have.

        I find I am on the socials less and less. I've never been on Facebook and my presence on Instagram is less and less. I don't feel like I'm missing out on anything and have yet to see a compelling reason why I NEED to be on there.

        The article talked about how people take their phones to bed. It is the last thing they do at night and the first thing they do in the morning. If that doesn't add to mental stress and decrease your quality of life, I don't know what does.

        What's also interesting is that summer has returned (or is returning) to my part of the world. I've been able to get out on my road bike more getting away from everything. Riding brings me happiness. My greatest stress when riding, besides not being hit by a car? Find a good spot to take a photo

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        • #19
          Originally posted by DocDave View Post
          I read an article - and for the life of me I can't find it - that talked about how technology is have a HUGELY negative impact on our lives.

          People are seeing all these great lives on Instagram/Facebook and it is causing them to be depressed. They want the nice cars, the trips, the Botox injections. And when they can't afford it, or see that their life isn't as glamorous, depression sets in. Just as [MENTION=12021]idvsego[/MENTION] and [MENTION=15867]carlitos[/MENTION] say, it's important to be happy with what you have.

          I find I am on the socials less and less. I've never been on Facebook and my presence on Instagram is less and less. I don't feel like I'm missing out on anything and have yet to see a compelling reason why I NEED to be on there.

          The article talked about how people take their phones to bed. It is the last thing they do at night and the first thing they do in the morning. If that doesn't add to mental stress and decrease your quality of life, I don't know what does.

          What's also interesting is that summer has returned (or is returning) to my part of the world. I've been able to get out on my road bike more getting away from everything. Riding brings me happiness. My greatest stress when riding, besides not being hit by a car? Find a good spot to take a photo

          judging yourself against someone else's self crafted public image is a situation set up for disaster. Even here. I never see anyone go "this outfits sucks and these pants fit me like a sack. Just thought i would drop a quick pics of it." I wouldn't expect it. But our kids are growing up thinking people live the way they are presenting on social networks ALL THE TIME. I had a very real talk with my kids. I was like "you live with me and you dont even see all of how I live and what I deal with." and we all proceeded to share some things we hadnt ever shared with the others. Not all big things, it was just an excercise in how you cant judge yoursefl agaisnt others because you dont actually know them. Walking a mile in someones shoes is cool, but they have but in hundreds of thousands of miles in them.

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          • #20
            Originally posted by DocDave View Post
            I read an article - and for the life of me I can't find it - that talked about how technology is have a HUGELY negative impact on our lives.

            People are seeing all these great lives on Instagram/Facebook and it is causing them to be depressed. They want the nice cars, the trips, the Botox injections. And when they can't afford it, or see that their life isn't as glamorous, depression sets in. Just as [MENTION=12021]idvsego[/MENTION] and [MENTION=15867]carlitos[/MENTION] say, it's important to be happy with what you have.

            I find I am on the socials less and less. I've never been on Facebook and my presence on Instagram is less and less. I don't feel like I'm missing out on anything and have yet to see a compelling reason why I NEED to be on there.

            The article talked about how people take their phones to bed. It is the last thing they do at night and the first thing they do in the morning. If that doesn't add to mental stress and decrease your quality of life, I don't know what does.

            What's also interesting is that summer has returned (or is returning) to my part of the world. I've been able to get out on my road bike more getting away from everything. Riding brings me happiness. My greatest stress when riding, besides not being hit by a car? Find a good spot to take a photo

            Beautiful photo. The background is nice too, lol.

            I miss my bikes.

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            • #21
              [MENTION=19117]Ron[/MENTION] get back on your bike! You won't regret it!

              [MENTION=12021]idvsego[/MENTION] good job on chatting with your kids. The pressure kids are under these days must be crazy intense.

              Somewhere on my internet travels I came across a story talking about how Instagram influencers (whatever the heck that means) went about posting their stories and images. Turns out they take multiple, multiple, poses and shots just to come across as looking natural. Turns out there is nothing natural about it. I think may of us know this, but when you are bombarded with image after image of a person casually lounging by the pool, flying to Hong Kong, eating a steak dinner, etc. I think it's easy to believe everyone lives like this.

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              • #22
                Originally posted by DocDave View Post
                [MENTION=19117]Ron[/MENTION] get back on your bike! You won't regret it!

                [MENTION=12021]idvsego[/MENTION] good job on chatting with your kids. The pressure kids are under these days must be crazy intense.

                Somewhere on my internet travels I came across a story talking about how Instagram influencers (whatever the heck that means) went about posting their stories and images. Turns out they take multiple, multiple, poses and shots just to come across as looking natural. Turns out there is nothing natural about it. I think may of us know this, but when you are bombarded with image after image of a person casually lounging by the pool, flying to Hong Kong, eating a steak dinner, etc. I think it's easy to believe everyone lives like this.
                [MENTION=13399]DocDave[/MENTION] I wish I could. I have been trying to find ways around my injury so I can ride. Doctors, therapists, new bike configurations, etc. I won't bother you with the details but unfortunately the condition is getting worse and it is greatly exacerbated by riding. Believe me I think about it every single day.

                I fought the good fight as a friend of mine said but sometimes we lose.

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                • #23
                  A few things have helped me. I'm pretty introverted. Married, employed, but pretty friendless. It gets lonely sometimes. I'm also a natural worrier. Weightlifting helps me feel better physically, though depending on my programming it can be anxiety inducing too. Basically any physical activity is a benefit to my physical and mental state. Beyond that, I've found that Stoicism has been a great help in thinking through the emotions and putting them in proper prospective. Meditation is something I have made a few attempts at, but haven't stuck to it. If you guys have any tips on sticking with it I'm all ears. I've tried Sam Harris' Waking Up app and like it a lot. Just haven't stuck with it.

                  These are all "solo" strategies admittedly. I'm sure some regular socialization and some friends would be a big boost but I have a hard time finding other people with similar interests and well... social awkwardness and introversion don't help the situation.

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                  • #24
                    Originally posted by Mr. Charles View Post
                    A few things have helped me. I'm pretty introverted. Married, employed, but pretty friendless. It gets lonely sometimes. I'm also a natural worrier. Weightlifting helps me feel better physically, though depending on my programming it can be anxiety inducing too. Basically any physical activity is a benefit to my physical and mental state. Beyond that, I've found that Stoicism has been a great help in thinking through the emotions and putting them in proper prospective. Meditation is something I have made a few attempts at, but haven't stuck to it. If you guys have any tips on sticking with it I'm all ears. I've tried Sam Harris' Waking Up app and like it a lot. Just haven't stuck with it.

                    These are all "solo" strategies admittedly. I'm sure some regular socialization and some friends would be a big boost but I have a hard time finding other people with similar interests and well... social awkwardness and introversion don't help the situation.
                    I use Waking Up and just completed 1,000 minutes of meditation. It takes getting used to and I am not always in the mindset but there are some days I really like it but I would say 3-4 per week are just getting time to breathe.

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                    • #25
                      [MENTION=19117]Ron[/MENTION] sorry to hear about your injury. Too bad you're now able to get back in to riding. I bit it riding a few years ago and stopped riding because of the fear of biting it again. But now that I've taken it up again, I am enjoying riding all over again. Mind you I am not to keen about riding in packs.

                      [MENTION=10629]Mr. Charles[/MENTION] Finding friends is difficult. For me I found that activities was a good way to get out and meet people. That said, I did/do have to put myself out there. Walking in to a setting where everyone knows each other, and you're the new kid on the block, can be challenging. So I get where you're coming from, especially if you are introverted. I guess one thing is, are you looking to break out and meet new people? Are you looking for suggestions/ideas?

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                      • #26
                        Originally posted by DocDave View Post
                        [MENTION=19117]Ron[/MENTION] sorry to hear about your injury. Too bad you're now able to get back in to riding. I bit it riding a few years ago and stopped riding because of the fear of biting it again. But now that I've taken it up again, I am enjoying riding all over again. Mind you I am not to keen about riding in packs.
                        Thanks Dave. I wasn't a fan of riding in a paceline either. Most of my road rides were long fundrasing charity rides where speed was not of the essence.

                        I preferred to be in the woods where getting running over by cars was not an issue, lol.

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                        • #27
                          Originally posted by JBarwick View Post
                          I use Waking Up and just completed 1,000 minutes of meditation. It takes getting used to and I am not always in the mindset but there are some days I really like it but I would say 3-4 per week are just getting time to breathe.
                          Wow, I'm surprised to see a few other Sam Harris fans out in the wild. I was already meditating, but I have been using his app since it launched. That 10 minutes a day is a great accountability partner for my meditation practice. I use it as a base, still doing other meditations at other times, and also extend beyond the 10 minutes on my own quite often.

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                          • #28
                            So I recently heard another family member has had heart issues in their 50s. I would have considered this person pretty healthy, at least the last 10 years, so it has strained me mentally since finding this out. There is a direct blood linkage so this affects me. My brother and father who both had heart issues and have passed away, smoked and lived stressful lives which are big indicators for potential heart issues. Maybe this person lived a stressful life which I am not seeing?

                            I am just sort of spewing thoughts here but I never thought I'd worry about death at 33. I don't want to be propped up with medicine as that is not an appealing way to live. Maybe my mind will change as I age and I still have 20 years until my 50s but sometimes things just hit you like a ton of bricks and stay with you for a while.

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                            • #29
                              I have a similar story [MENTION=4069]JBarwick[/MENTION]

                              A couple of people in my family - uncles, grandma - have had heart issues. Mind you they were/are not very healthy, whereas I exercise regularly. Anyway...

                              I was at my doctor and telling him this when I asked "should I be worried about heart issues given my family history?" And his reply? "Yes".

                              Ha! That floored me. I figured I was good but no. His answer totally caught me off guard. I'm not stressing over it, but at times I do try to consider what i'm eating and it does give me some added incentive to keep fit. Of course I say this, knowing I chowed down on a big brisket sandwich about a week ago...

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                              • #30
                                [MENTION=13399]DocDave[/MENTION] - I have my off days but try to keep eating healthy. I realize no matter how good I take care of myself, my genes will get me at some point.

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