Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

How do you deal with people who snub you?

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

    How do you deal with people who snub you?

    Ok. Looking for some personal improvement (as opposed to style improvement) suggestions here.

    I work in an office environment where the division between management and staff is written right in to the policy manual. Managers are discouraged from interacting with staff (ie, having lunch, meeting after hours for a drink, etc). This bleeds in to life around the office where you will work on a project with a variety of people. Then, when walking through the office said people will walk by you and rarely say hi or acknowledge you.

    My question is this: What constructive way could I deal with it?
    • Ignore them back?
    • Say hello?
    • Other?

    I realize I can't change the whole culture of where I work, but it would be nice to be in a friendlier environment.

    #2
    Just say hello, especially if you know their name or you're working in the same area. Try to get to know them a little better. You can be on cordial terms with people without having to go out of the office with them. How was their weekend, how are their kids doing, the usual small talk.

    What I absolutely wouldnt do is ignore them back. If you feel the urge to at least say hi, do it, and don't give up. Ignoring them will begin to bleed into your own personality, and it sounds like you wouldnt want that

    Comment


      #3
      Find a new job.

      What kind of office? I can't think of any type of employer where it would be beneficial to segregate employees like that. Is it a constant thing throughout the day? Or just like the examples you gave? Because if it's just a restriction on extracurricular out-of-office stuff, I wouldn't exactly consider that being "discouraged from interacting".

      Comment


        #4
        Yeah, I agree with find a new job. That sounds like a very unpleasant and dysfunctional work environment. I served in the military and can totally understand that there are some professions where fraternization between managers and staff may need to be limited (but outside of military type organization i can't really think of examples of how this would benefit a typical corporation or privately held company). Anyway, even in the military different ranks would absolutely greet one another and be courteous/respectful (well after the whole boot camp/initial initiation phase anyway). Outside of finding a new job, I would just say hi and be friendly with everyone I meet. I know it can be a beat down to get snubbed like that day after day, but if you keep being friendly and respectful at least you can live with the satisfaction of knowing a) you're not a complete ass hole b) your not contributing to the problem and c) you might be making other non-ass hole people in the offices day just a tiny bit better by being friendly towards them.

        Comment


          #5
          Without working in military, I can also understand why fraternization between managers/staff is limited or discouraged--however, I don't see why that needs to mean there is no social interaction at all. Frankly, this rift occurs in a variety of offices, but the one I live with is in a law firm. The lawyers are one group, the non-lawyer staff is another. You even have smaller groups (partners, associates/counsel) that work similarly.

          However, as [MENTION=15504]Me27[/MENTION] said, this definitely wouldn't mean they can't/shouldn't be decent people and say hi, etc. I sometimes don't say hi to everyone, but I'll smile/nod/make small talk with anyone who seems open to it. For those I actually work with or sit near, I am much more friendly (my assistant, paralegals sitting near me, etc. have friendly banter throughout the day). But some people (both "down" the chain and "up" the chain from me) just aren't open to it. For them, I stick with a nod or smile and go on my merry way. Just don't be a person who people think isn't open to it, and that's all you can do (beyond leaving the job).

          Comment


            #6
            The funny thing is when I get together with other colleagues at lunch and comment about this phenomena, they to agree with me. So I'm definitely not the only one who notices this lack of friendliness.

            I have been doing my best to say hi whenever possible. But it is the strangest thing. Sometimes people will actively look elsewhere. It's almost as if they are avoiding eye contact so that they don't have to chat with you. It is, to say the least, a very strange workplace at times. Which is a shame too because it really isn't a bad place to work.
            [MENTION=2622]hornsup84[/MENTION] I have worked in consulting companies/firms in the past and while there was a demarcation between partners and staff, I always found the partners to be cordial and always approachable. Hell they'd frequently take the staff out to lunch or out for a beer sometimes. And I hear ya on the treatment of support staff. I always made it a point to be polite to the support staff because they could be great (helping with expense reports, booking meeting rooms, etc) or they could make your life hell (putting you at the bottom of the priority list, etc.)

            Comment


              #7
              Originally posted by hornsup84 View Post
              Without working in military, I can also understand why fraternization between managers/staff is limited or discouraged--however, I don't see why that needs to mean there is no social interaction at all. Frankly, this rift occurs in a variety of offices, but the one I live with is in a law firm. The lawyers are one group, the non-lawyer staff is another. You even have smaller groups (partners, associates/counsel) that work similarly.

              However, as @Me27 said, this definitely wouldn't mean they can't/shouldn't be decent people and say hi, etc. I sometimes don't say hi to everyone, but I'll smile/nod/make small talk with anyone who seems open to it. For those I actually work with or sit near, I am much more friendly (my assistant, paralegals sitting near me, etc. have friendly banter throughout the day). But some people (both "down" the chain and "up" the chain from me) just aren't open to it. For them, I stick with a nod or smile and go on my merry way. Just don't be a person who people think isn't open to it, and that's all you can do (beyond leaving the job).
              I was a military officer and I can say that it is ridiculous that a simple greeting at the very least is not an expected common courtesy. It is tough to advise anyone to just quit, but if this is the expectation - a clear line, that's messed up.

              Comment


                #8
                I don't think I'd quit just because of this. But I must confess that the lack of civility from many people in strange. And considering others have commented on it to me as well at least lest me know I'm not alone in thinking so.

                Comment


                  #9
                  In high tech this is very common due to the social discomfort many people have. I have noticed since I became management everyone says hi to me though, not the case before. Maybe you should bring it up with your manager to get some clarity.

                  Comment


                    #10
                    IMO this is a dumbass policy and I would not let it stand between me and being a decent, courteous human being who treats co-workers like human beings. Just because you aren't supposed to get drinks with them doesn't mean you shouldn't say hello, ask them how they're doing, show interest in their work, etc.
                    Ben

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Ah hells yea it is a dumbass policy. One that I have spoken up about as being dumbass from the beginning. And I seriously doubt it would stand a human rights complaints. That whole freedom of association thing. Anyway. The whole lack of people saying hi and what not was getting to me. Figured I'd see what others thought. I generally make a point of saying hi regardless if the person sees me or not.

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Just say hello. You'll be the "friendly" guy at the office. But giving common courtesies would/should by no means constitute fraternization or a violation of company policy.

                        Comment

                        Working...
                        X