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Thread: Bachelor Party Etiquette

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    Varsity Member DXLi's Avatar
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    Question Bachelor Party Etiquette

    I'm in a wedding party this weekend, and an irregular situation has come up. You gents seem sagely, so I need your opinions on what I should do.

    Here's the situation: The groom ("Al") is a college roommate of mine, and one of his friends ("Ed") is organizing the stag party. My guess is dinner and some simple group activities (let's say chillaxing). A few of our old roommates will be in town, so I suggested inviting them. Ed has informed me that the B&G wish to set up a joint bachelor/bachelorette party, but that a few more won't hurt.

    Here's where it gets complicated. My GF and I are both flying into town, and she isn't close to anyone in the guest list but the old roommates. She was only acquainted with the groom. I know Al would love to hang with the boys, but I don't want to leave my mathematical constant high and dry for the night. Considering it's a combination stag-hen party, my gut instinct was to ask if I could invite her, as well, but I have this vague notion that I'll go down as the guy who invited his girl to a bachelor party.

    What the cluck should I do?
    Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society. ~Twain

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    Super Moderator Shomas's Avatar
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    Bring her along. It's already a coed affair and with the bride and groom both there, you won't even be the only one with his lady there.

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    Dappered Veteran alan's Avatar
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    Yeah, having the bride there already makes the whole thing unusual. That's got to be the cardinal rule, and it's already broken. So I'm not sure anything else even really matters anymore.

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    Ask the bride and groom what to do... at the end of it all, their opinions matter, not ours. I don't think you'd be out of line to ask.

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    Dappered Veteran shad0w4life's Avatar
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    It's not a bachelor/bachelorette party anymore, it's a travesty so may as well see if you can bring her as there's other women there.

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    Dappered Veteran yoyorobbo's Avatar
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    Hen. Cluck. LOL

    Well, my wife and I had a combo bach party back when we got married. It was a huge bash, and as it turns out, manliness worldwide actually survived the affair.

    I've been to a few *men only* (well, aside from the strippers, of course) bachelor parties; and I gotta tell ya, a few of them were petty damn embarrassing for the groom; not to mention the groom's *dad*. Oh yeah, and I've tried VERY hard to completely forget about the one involving the *bride's* dad. Yeeeesh!

    Best answer I've read thus far is "ask the B&G." It's really all about them in this case. If they make the wrong call, at least it'll be on *them*; not you. LOL

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    Varsity Member DerekH's Avatar
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    So you booked the trip w/your GF before knowing that the other crew was also coming into town, or she was coming with to hang out with the other group and you were going to originally hang out with the stag group?

    Either way, I don't know. I would definitely give you shit for it since it sounds like you're not only bringing your girlfriend but a crew of your other friends along for the ride, which dilutes the crew. If the groom REALLY wanted them involved he would have invited them on the initial stag party list. Then again, it depends on the activities planned for the stag/hen group. If you're just going out to bars and partying, the more the merrier. If you've got a dinner planned with just the crew, then I wouldn't add more people to that because it creates a logistical headache for the Best Man / MoH to make reservations etc. And a too big of dinner party means that nobody really can talk to anybody.

    Also, if the bride/groom want everyone to party and get shitfaced with them, do you want your Penny to be around? Not knowing the relationship, some guys don't like to show that side of 'em to their girl.

    I think what I would do in your boat is drop my GF with the other out-of-towner crew to hang out and have them all rendezvous with me and the stag/hen crew once we are out on the town, post-dinner/bonding events. That way they arrive and add an element to everyone's good time at the right point. Since your GF is friends with the other out of town crew, presumably she is comfortable soloing it for a bit while you hang with the stags. That way you don't come off as the guy with the girlfriend and your GF doesn't end up feeling uncomfortable in a crew of people she doesn't know as the only GF.

    That all said, I agree that it's a travesty to do a coed stag party and give it a hearty wtf. That's just a friend weekend, not a Bachelor Party.

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    Varsity Member DXLi's Avatar
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    The common consensus among people I've asked is that it probably wouldn't be a big deal and I should ask the groom what his preference is. Sounds like a good bet to me. Thanks for the input!

    @Derek: It's not really "a crew of [my] other friends". The groom personally invited all those guys to the wedding. Last month, when Ed was planning the stag party, he had just invited the other groomsmen. The party was tentatively scheduled for the day before my GF's flight in. Recently, after the roommates confirmed they'd be able to make it, I suggested adding them to the stag party. That's when Ed informed me of the new timing (i.e. after my GF arrives) and the combination/animal farm/travesty/etc. So you can see how it all made sense beforehand.
    Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society. ~Twain

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    Varsity Member DerekH's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DXLi View Post
    The common consensus among people I've asked is that it probably wouldn't be a big deal and I should ask the groom what his preference is. Sounds like a good bet to me. Thanks for the input!

    @Derek: It's not really "a crew of [my] other friends". The groom personally invited all those guys to the wedding. Last month, when Ed was planning the stag party, he had just invited the other groomsmen. The party was tentatively scheduled for the day before my GF's flight in. Recently, after the roommates confirmed they'd be able to make it, I suggested adding them to the stag party. That's when Ed informed me of the new timing (i.e. after my GF arrives) and the combination/animal farm/travesty/etc. So you can see how it all made sense beforehand.
    Ahh, yeah. In that case, considering the groom audibled and everything, I'd have no problem bringing the GF along. You already tried to make it work with the original setup and they changed the plans.

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